Forums > Stand Up Paddle General

The number 2 problem.

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Created by pumpjockey02 A week ago, 10 May 2019
pumpjockey02
233 posts
10 May 2019 10:28PM
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Hi all,
So Ive been in a bit of training of late on the open flat water to build up the stamina. Im up to 3km a day onto 4km next week.
Anyway on Monday I only had a small window around lunch to go out and I raced down to local spot in Sydney. i had eaten lunch maybe 20 minutes prior and around the midway point I just needed to go bad. I couldn't hold it back. I tried to hold on. I was surrounded by houses on all sides and easily visible. I wasn't sure what to do. :I just tried to hold it in while paddling back to the car,
anyway it started to come about half way back. I managed to contain it inside my clothes.
Lucky the local ocean pool was having a renovation and there were like 6 porto loos on the side of the lake. The worst was walking back to the car with all the dogs going nuts to my pong and trying to sniff my butt while carrying my board to the car.
So has anyone come close to having to hide the sausage or so. Any funny stories.
I was paddling at blue bay the day before and was so lucky it didn't happen then as the councils up there have shut off all water showers.
pump.
P.S. Is it worth carrying a bag.

808-Obsession
QLD, 351 posts
11 May 2019 6:21AM
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Must admit to the odd Aqua-Dump back in the day, but more so when prone surfing at spots where there were no loos on the beach - was easier to hitch the boardies down under the water & let fly. Looks a bit suss on a SUP to all of a sudden jump off for a 'cool off' then hop back on, but unless you're eating some really weird food, the by-product would be pretty organic and on this scale I don't think it'd harm the environment

515
167 posts
11 May 2019 5:13AM
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That situation would have "Aquadumped"!
On a big wave day windsurfing, had the odd time of nerves on land.

DavidJohn
VIC, 16109 posts
11 May 2019 9:45AM
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Only in Sydney..

I heard that floating brown mullets are common around Sydney waters.

Eski
WA, 55 posts
11 May 2019 7:56AM
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Thanks for the laugh, i had to check the date was not 1st April.

When diving with a mixed crowd all day on a small vessel the blue release is the only option. Dropping a brown in your own pants just seems like THE worst option.

You might have to change your handle Pumpjockey, to Dumpjockey

Sorry to laugh at your misfortune, an all round crappy situation

Ta
Esk

Smash1
NSW, 796 posts
11 May 2019 11:33AM
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Sh$t

JEG
VIC, 1115 posts
11 May 2019 11:42AM
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Sheet happened

MangoDingo
NT, 238 posts
11 May 2019 1:29PM
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Ah, yep, the old Bondi Cigar

Smash1
NSW, 796 posts
11 May 2019 2:08PM
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Don't put up with this sh@t Pumpman

pumpjockey02
233 posts
11 May 2019 5:32PM
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In my old days of surfing I would have often send one off at the end of a long solo session, the sea turd as my dad referred to it, or the offering to huey. I reckon my dad loved the saving on septic pump outs but on the paddle board its a lot more difficult, you cant just jump in the water and dack yourself as every bystander is watching you thinking is this guy going to get back up. In summer the boardies just slip to the side and bob's your uncle your in the clear but as winter approaches and the layers start to build up, how does one elegantly ease out the beast. I think I might need to switch to gels and bars just to keep from needing to release.
Looking for a solution.
pump.
DJ have a look at old posts of bondi, in the late 90 early 2000's with the shark net. It just used to collect the biggest load of crap in that thing you could not only see it, smell it but the water also tasted funny.
Ive heard from locals at narabeen that the lake is polluting the line up badly, surfers getting ulcers and infections on tiny rock cuts due to the nasties days after rain. Were not at Melbourne levels yet but its bad. Three days after rain at least is the go to now on the northern beaches.

benjl
229 posts
11 May 2019 6:24PM
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I just don't get how.. I mean even when I need to go before I start surfing, while surfing the urge just seems to disappear until I get hCk
out again?

micksmith
VIC, 1298 posts
12 May 2019 10:29AM
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I'd be more worried what it might attract in the water.

benjl
229 posts
12 May 2019 11:47AM
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Might be a good solution to warn off proners?



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"The number 2 problem." started by pumpjockey02