1. Virgins are getting real hard to find.
2. Well, ones of suitable quality anyway.
3. The Council no longer allow fires on the beach and we all know that's where you have to burn your boards.

4. Don't waste it by pouring your beer into the sea. I'm sure nobody likes their beer watered down 1:1,000,000,000,000.....
5. I realised late last night that Phil aka puppet could be Huey himself, but prob has been too busy with his two shops of late. Makes sense, see?
6. Is this a ploy by Laurie to increase Seabreeze whinge traffic for his advertisers? Can't be sure but let's burn him anyway!!!!

7. Maybe its the SUPpers. Burn them.


FIRE! FFIIRRREEE! RAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!
...ahem, yea... Some nice regular seabreezes would be really good.