I travel regularly and airport security sh!ts me.
It wouldn't be so bad if there was a consistant policy for ALL Australian airports but there is even inconsistancy between International and Domestic. Same plane but different rules.
Feel for you with the audio jacks, as there is no chance of getting it into your checked luggage by that stage. Yet last night on plane was sitting next to an elderly lady on the plane happily knitting away with two 12'' steel needles.

I remember back in the day I had a pair of good headphones and wanted to use them on a plane but it had the double mono airline plug. So I got out my leatherman knock-off, stripped the wires on the free airline headphones and taped the ends onto the right bits of the good headphone plug and was happy for the rest of the flight. Hosties didn't bat an eyelid as I sat there mcgyvering away with bits of wire and tape and tools. How times have changed.

/Mind you not long before that I remember going down the back and standing near the toilet to have a smoke on a 747...

It's a joke, post 911 I remember going through the whole rigmarole of trace explosives testing, having my luggage rifled through etc. only to realise that my leatherman was still on my belt when I sat down on the plane. Oops. Would have been pretty upset if I'd had to hand that over.

If you want to get a terrorist on a plane it's gotta be pretty easy. Wait till the staff are rushed. Send a couple of Obama Osama lookalikes with a bag full of lead through the scanner as decoys and you could probably carry an ak47 through while doing the can-can.

A few years ago boarding a plane in Broome to return to school in Perth, i waited until the most people had boarded before attempting to get on the plane. As i lined up a bloke in front of me seemed intoxicated (or a screw loose) and was being pulled up by the staff at the gate, as he groped around for his ticket some things fell out of his backpack, mainly cd's - however the hosty picked up a small tube of what looked like polony!! Turns out this small polony looking thing was a stick of gelignite(spelling?) The bloke had tried to board the plane with explosives on his backpack. ok there is no fuse thing but ffs!! It wasnt unitl 2 days later i realised all of this when it was on the news. Airport security - might be annoying, however neccessary imo after having experienced this

In Sth American airports they had perspex bins full of all the confiscated stuff. brasil was big on blowpipes and small compact bows, Lima was the airport with the most clips of ammunition , and in one box a 9mm pistol, but every box had bucket loads of swiss army knives and leathermens. all the waterbottles woul;d be confiscated, But TP1 went through every airport with a 2l camel pack and the drinking tube hanging out

KiteDevil said...



Oh but the worst thing I saw was a this poor bridesmaid at Melbourne, having to pull ALL the pins out of her $17,000 hair do that she was meant to be sporting at a wedding in 2 hours. What a load of sh1t. If they were proper S/S then no dramas.

are you sure.... 17 grand for a hair do? thats a bit steep, maybe i should have been a hair dresser

manicskier said...

KiteDevil said...



Oh but the worst thing I saw was a this poor bridesmaid at Melbourne, having to pull ALL the pins out of her $17,000 hair do that she was meant to be sporting at a wedding in 2 hours. What a load of sh1t. If they were proper S/S then no dramas.

are you sure.... 17 grand for a hair do? thats a bit steep, maybe i should have been a hair dresser

Ha! Just exaggerating there, I have no idea how much a hair do like that would be. The way she was carrying on it may as well have been her first born child in a blender.

My stainless steel watch never beeps, I would have thought titanium would have got through too?

I had my pocket knife taken off me when boarding a flight from New Calendonia to New Zealand.The security guys took it,placed it in a A4 envelope and put it on the luggage trolley with my name on it. Picked it up in baggage claim in Auckland. weapons can travel as unaccompanied luggage.

Dont even joke about anything, in 04 going to Bali my girlfriend and I were doing the usual check in thing and they were scanning us for explosives, I jokes that she should have washed her hands after handling the C4. 30 minutes later we were allowed to leave after they went through all our luggage that had been checked in. Lesson learnt

Long time ago in the US I was on a plane at LAX waiting while everyone boarded.
Some drunken guy starts mumbling as he cant get a drink until plane takes off.
Says something about wishing he had a bomb. Very quickly some VERY scary looking guys all in black with automatic weapons just march up to this nong, literally lift him out of the window seat and smash him into the floor all the while holding what looked like an Uzi at the back of his head. His feet never touched the floor up the aisle after they hog tied him.
One youngish looking soldier/SWAT guy was just standing at the back of the plane caressing the trigger on his gun. They dont f*** around in the states.

evlPanda said...

I boarded a plane yesterday with nothing but my keys, wallet and a kaleidoscope. True story. I don't know what they thought of that.

I don't get security at all. They made my wife check her carry on bags because she had ...nail clippers. We were so pissed off we had to order four of those little glass bottles of wine onboard.

I have to ask, what was the kaleidoscope for? In flight entertainment?

dusta said...

what i find a joke was last month travelling to sydney . I put all my lighters in my carryon . I got told i was only allowed 2 lighters and not three on board

i protested on the fact it was retarded and he agreed but rules were rules .

I also find it a joke my nail clippers get confiscated yet i can walk on undetected with a bottle of clear eyes and say i filled it with zippo fluid or something flammable and be able to light someone or the plane up with the lighter , yet i get a plastic knife with my meal .

Internal Garuda flights you get steel knives and forks. Now that freeked me out!!!!