I was reading the current edition of the NRMA magazine “Open Road”. On page 40 was a review of the Nissan Murano. The review made reference to the Murano having a “CVT transmission”. It mentioned this twice; funny thing, that. And, I thought to myself, “Hmmm, that means the Murano has a constant velocity transmission transmission”. And I though “That’s just plain silly, that’s wasteful, that’s dumb”. More than dumb, this sort of journalistic laziness gives me the tom tits, big time.
And, I can already picture Ian K reading this, and thinking “he needs a holiday”.
And, so, I was on the Vodaphone website to check my account balance, and I was asked to enter my, get this, PIN Number. PIN Number!! There’s no such thing; it’s either a PIN, or a PI Number, but definitely NOT a personal identity number number. Bloody hell, even Microsoft Word would know that there’s a redundant “number” in there somewhere. So, I swallowed my pride, and entered my PIN Number, like a good little Bristol would, and, why did it not surprise me, my balance was two dollars.
And, Ian says, out loud this time “he definitely needs a holiday”.
And I was listening to the ABC news a few mornings ago, and an item was presented virtually as follows:-
(voice of newsreader)
“In Canberra today, the Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, announced that there would be a freeze on recruitment of Public Service positions. Mr. Rudd said that the freeze would come into effect immediately, and be in place for six months”.(switch to voice of Kevin Rudd)
“My government has decided to put a freeze on recruitment of Public Service positions. This freeze is to come into effect immediately, and will remain in place for six months”.And I’m dumbfounded. Ashen faced. Tight lipped. Do they think that I am stupid, and of such small brain, that I must be told everything twice? Is it just me that notices these things?
It’s a conspiracy. In this Zaphod Beeblebrox, JP twin fin, Subaru twin turbo, world, I am even sitting at a computer that has two processors. Why isn’t one enough?
No wonder we’re in such a mess. We are not content to have just one problem; we have to go and have lots of them. Global financial crises, global warming, floods in Queensland, fires in Victoria, drought in SE NSW and ACT. Heaven help us, we even have two Windwarnings on Seabreeze!
It seems we’ve got a glut of everything, except, apparently, fish in Tingalpa Creek.
And Ian now shakes his head and says “he’s gone”.
I feel like the character in Catch 22, who sees everything twice. And, Catch 22, that’s another thing. Why can’t it be Catch 11, or even just good old simple Catch 2? Aaaargh! Oh, the pain!
And now I’m starting to feel sorry for myself. “That poor Bristol. He’s not well. That Sausage bloke, he said he’d bring Bristol some beers, and he never turned up! Poor Bristol.” And talking about myself in the third person. Three!! Am I crossing over to a universe of threes? Catch 33?
I need to go and lie down on my (double) bed, and take a disprin. Better make that two.
But wait, what’s this? Trees starting to sway? Check BOM. Yep, forecast 15 to 20 knots, yeehaa!. Sorry to waste your time, fellas, gotta go! I’m cured! I hear and see everything once, once again. See you at the lake, Ian.
