just get it for them and stop being a evil panda

Any advice on how to handle women's products

Mark _australia said...

Any advice on how to handle women's products

Like holding the missuses handbag.. there's an art to holding/carrying it while quite clearly stating that 'This is not mine.. I'm just holding it'

1) NEVER EVER hold it by the handles - unless you've folded the straps together in a bunch and have grabbed them like the handle of a beer jug.
2) If it's one of the ones with the long 'over the shoulder strap' UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES put the strap on your shoulder, or infact anywhere on your arm.
3) Don't try to hide it - you're much better off to just hold it out in the open.
4) If you pretend that it is a bag full of dog turd, you'll be in the right mental space!

Of course, holding the handbag has nothing on loitering in the womens undie dept while she has gone to try stuff on.. Good thing the kids toy dept is just next door - I'm much more comfortable scrutinising Tonka trucks than trying to look comfortable chilling between display stands full of lace.

Mark _australia said...

Any advice on how to handle women's products

At the perfume section (I'm sure there's a fancier name for it) take a deep breath at the bottom of the escalators. Better yet do some light hyperventilation on way down to really beef up oxygen levels.

Can't stand that section, smells like a gay bar.

You know what's worse???? The fact that many of the stores have a confectionary free aisle.... with batteries etc, but they NEVER seem to be open!!!!!
I personally think there needs to be a mass public outcry for the removal of all lollies at checkouts, and while they're at it they can get rid of all those horrid germ infested kiddie rides too!!!! I HATE the shops woth a passion..... I avoid taking the kids at all cost!!

Barbie said...

...a mass public outcry for the removal of all lollies at checkouts...

Why? It's not like childhood obesity is on the rise or anything..

And whats with sugar in your peanut butter? Took me ages to find some with no sugar last time I visited Australia.

Remember, overweight people eat more, therefore they buy more.
So, highly simplified: Obesity = Profit

What better time to start them on the path than at an early age..

555 said...

Mark _australia said...

Any advice on how to handle women's products

Like holding the missuses handbag.. there's an art to holding/carrying it while quite clearly stating that 'This is not mine.. I'm just holding it'

1) NEVER EVER hold it by the handles - unless you've folded the straps together in a bunch and have grabbed them like the handle of a beer jug.2) If it's one of the ones with the long 'over the shoulder strap' UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES put the strap on your shoulder, or infact anywhere on your arm.
3) Don't try to hide it - you're much better off to just hold it out in the open.
4) If you pretend that it is a bag full of dog turd, you'll be in the right mental space!

Ha ha ha - classic I just bought some stuff in the city at lunch. They gave me realy girly little bag with thin rope handles and I did exactly as you described then read this post...

arancini said...

its every where, at the servo filling up the other day, and my young bloke is hitting me up to get the 2 for 1 chocolate deal advertised on the pump. I said "watch this mate" and took the advertising placard off the pump and binned the whole deal. It felt good. (didnt buy the chocolate).

A lesson learned, I'm sure, that spontaneous vandalism is OK when Dad does it in public places. Right on, you got my "thumbs up" vote for that one.

Next lesson, slap that bitch up.