I've finally decided to go through with my request for a penile reduction

I recently went and saw a Urologist for my first consultation. At first he was puzzled, he said and I quote, "But Hardie, most men I see, want me to enlarge their male appendage, this is such a strange request, can you enlighten me on your reasoning for this"

I replied and I quote, "You don't know what it's like, chicks are after you all the time, men are envious making snide remarks, you can't walk down a nudist beach without the old, "Who's taking who for a walk" crap, I've had enough" I cried.

Urologist: "What does your wife think of this?"

Hardie "She's wrapped, she's sick of worrying whether I'm windsurfing late again or servicing the country women's association, and she says only a bloody third of the thing is of any use to her anyway"

Urologist: "What sort of reduction are you looking for then?"

Hardie: Since my wife is the most important thing in the world to me (Just in case she reads this), I want it reduced by 2/3rds"

Urologist: "My dear Hardie to reduce that thing by 2/3rds would create such blood loss and trauma that it would put your life at risk, My Hippocratic oath forbids me to do harm, I'm afraid I must refuse"

You can't say I didn't try
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Comment from Hardina (Swedish Exchange Student) "Hardi iz so bootiful"

My dear rich brother,

It gladdens my heart to know that I am not alone in carrying the burden of being an "incredibly sexy beast"

Comment from Hardina (Swedish Exchange Student) "Hardi iz so bootiful"

i'm not easily offended but bored by the display of male stupidity here ... what a waste of 0's and 1's on this website!

Oh well hardie, steve must be as well endowed as a hamster.
Its always the "small" chaps who dont like this stuff.
jealousy i'm sure.

Will you be changing your name to Halfman after your operation ?

jim

Hoop

Halfman sounds better than one third man

Greenroonm,

Those sorts of derogatory remarks are uncalled for just coz we had the "new toys in the back of the car" incident, remember you said "no", and I backed off

This is getting sillier

Comment from Hardina (Swedish Exchange Student) "Hardi iz so bootiful"

quote:

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Originally posted by hardman

I've finally decided to go through with my request for a penile reduction

.....

Urologist: "My dear Hardie to reduce that thing by 2/3rds

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A number 1 haircut would do the trick.

Alby


Plan for tomorrow.
Live for today

I though only kitesurfers tried to convince people that they had Big dicks?

My sweet poor relative,

Is it possible for two well hung intellectual geniuses to fall into spiritual love with each other

I'm not talking about having a sordid sweaty salivery semeny affair, but a mutual making love of our mega minds

How delicious a thought

Fat, Middleaged, Double Chinned and Proud!!!

Wherefore out thou Hardie

I am disturbed

Rocks Are Fun

Dear Margaret River Fan (HITW)

I appreciate your attempt at humour, it delights me that there are still imbeciles in this world who are willing to respond to my insanity.

However, I have matured since I wrote this initial piece and am now no longer willing to make jokes about penis size. I now realize that these attempts, at this sort of humour, were purely based on a deep seated insecurity about my masculinity. Had I not been encouraged by a fellow nutter like Poor Relative I would have probably grown out of this childness much much sooner. I also realise that there are disadvantages to being so well endowed, as was recently experienced by me, having to compete will multiple clones of myself. I must admit I didn't like the competition, and now realise what other men must feel like when they see me sniffing around their wives and girlfriends. Sorry guys I didn't realise, and will be more considerate of your feelings in future.

Holey, I hope you are not too disappointed that I have not added to this childishness, but must admit that my developemtal growth has given me an existential freedom not experienced befeore. I now realise that I can proceed to a more intellectual level of humour and will now focus on bums. Just ask Poor Relative about the thinkness of my right index finger.

NB. Quiet period at work!

Thankyou for the compliment my dear Poor relative

I'll never forget that night! It was a moonlit night, the Gondola gently lapped the waters of the mandurah canals, you seranaded me with stories of space flight, and the astrophysical properties of the ring around Uranus, while lightly caressing me with your ideas about world domination, lulling me into a world of soft pillows and feather dusters, stroking me with gifts of flattery, floating me to the moon with talk of beauty, love, truth and bourban, gently yet technically explaining the big prang theory or was that the big pram theory of the beginnings of the universe, How on the seventh day you rested.....................

Oh the memories.........I feel giddy....................I also feel rather steamy and very hot.............and a sense as if I'm expanding in the universe somehow?

Love is a beautiful thing, I wish for all forumers to experience the gift you have given me.............I am now crying.......Do not feel sad for me my dear windlovers................These are tears of joy!

Let us celebrate together, let us metaphorically and spiritually link hands together, and let us sing songs of joy...........