There is a small homunculus
That’s living in my head
He doesn’t like me very much
He seems to want me dead.

He tells me that I’m strong and fast
And quite exceptional
With superior proprioception
And bullet proof as well

He tells me I’m a lion tamer
The bravest one alive
He opens up the cage for me
And pushes me inside

He takes me bungee jumping
And parachuting too
I make him look the other way
When walking past the zoo

He took me surfing once or twice
To brave the break at Jaws
At Teahaupoo the Pipeline
I was drowned n bashed and mauled

When I base-jumped from the Eiger
I was ****ting in my pants
And heli-skiing Everest
I raced an avalanche

I went on medication
Coz life was too exciting
I was thinking I was safe at last
…..
Then the bastard took me Kiting