Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan...You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them $1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new Australian car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to
school /college/university - Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy $100 WORTH of
alcohol/tobacco a week....
there's your money back in duty/tax etc

6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S.
If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances.

Put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay $600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Oh yeah...Think about this (more points of contention):

THE AUSTRALIAN CONSTITUTION...

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq...
Why don't we just give them ours?
It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for centuries and we're not using it anymore.
---------------------------------------------------------------

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS...

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a
courthouse or
Parliament, is this -
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal',
'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and
'Thou Shall Not Lie'
in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians...... It creates a hostile work environment.

If you cannot see the sense in this YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!
It is time for us grumpy old folk of Australia to speak up!

I'm curious where the ten trillion dollars is going to come from?

Sounds a bit like the story of the Greek fishing village and the bar owners debt........

Mark _australia said...

Cisco seen this one before.

The first clue that it is a Yank rubbish chainmail is the "10 million people over 50 in the workforce"
Somebody tacked "carbon tax" on the end but didn't have the intelligence to revise the first sentence.

Actually, I vote them for P.M.
Would be an improvement...

Second clue...THE AUSTRALIAN CONSTITUTION

It has only been since 1901(Federation) that Australia has had constitution....not centuries as stated in cisco's post.

Got my vote cisco , can this be passed as law before 7.30 am this morning ? Thanks .

I have to chime in as well... Why do we always see this same repost and why do the authors never know how to do basic math?

Although, having a stab at it..

1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
Australia becomes a nation of unskilled workers overnight. Power stations fail and basic services stop because no one thought about how they actually work until now. 10 Million? That's a lot of job openings, and I am not sure our population would actually survive that.

2) They MUST buy a new Australian car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
Huge backlog of orders of cars at Ford and Holden, now leads to car prices doubling

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed
House prices double overnight as those that don't need their houses sell out to these wealthy retirees

4) They MUST send their kids to
school /college/university - Crime rate fixed
If those kids weren't already at school, they are going to have problems no matter what. Aren't these people meant to fill the sudden 10 million vacancies?

5) They MUST buy $100 WORTH of
alcohol/tobacco a week....
there's your money back in duty/tax etc
Well, those companies would be happy, as long as they import it, as there are no staff here to make it anymore.

6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.
Hmm... I think this is what a carbon tax is meant to do! Do you think that if they had to reduce their emissions by 75% that they wouldn't pass the cost on to cosumers?

Oh well, at least by posting this stuff it must open your eyes to how a lot of things are far more complicated than you expect.

Chris6791 said...

I'm curious where the ten trillion dollars is going to come from?

Yeah, that's the trick isn't it.

I stopped reading at the first sentence of the "Plan", the one that claims that there are 10 million people over 50 in the workforce. The workforce of a country that has under 23 million total population. Yeah right...

Pfff.....

2% debit tax. Every one pays their share. No more tax losses for companies in the ASX 200........ no more complexed structures to dodge tax responsibilities.....

And this:

www.robinhoodtax.org.au/

Great idea.

Mobydisc said...

cisco said...

Chris6791 said...

I'm curious where the ten trillion dollars is going to come from?

Yeah, that's the trick isn't it.

Fire up the printing presses.

All those with mortgages will be fine as they are all paid off with worthless Aussie dollars. Too bad for those who spent years saving up now worthless dollars.

Export industries prosper as they earn foreign currency and pay local workers with worthless money. All those over 50s will have to get back to work as their million dollars won't buy a loaf of bread.

It worked well enough for Zimbabwe didn't it?

GreenPat said...

It worked well enough for Zimbabwe didn't it?

Hyperinflation sort of turns the tables on the banks doesn't it? Usually our liability is their asset while our asset (savings) is their liability. So making money worthless makes the bank's debt holdings worthless while making their deposits worthless too.

Hyperinflation worked after a fashion in Germany in the early 1920s. It stuffed up the lives of millions of people and really turned society on its head. However it sort of wiped the slate clean and allowed business to get going again, leading to a few years of prosperity.

Not sure about Zimbabwe. The government probably used hyperinflation as a tool to make its enemies destitute.

Well .... Do I have to keep working or not cisco !

Should I go to bed early tonight , or have another beer ?

Carantoc said...

Sleep well tonight it won't happen tomorrow

- the Government has turned its attention to the HSU east branch, threatening to wind it up. The PM referred to it as a disfunctional organisation that can't effectively govern for the benefit of its members.

Mmmm, the words - stones, throw, don't and glass houses come to mind for some reason.

Yes nice turn for this thread !

If the liberal gov was in power would they be able to wind up a union ?

So this particular union is out of control ? The gov will fix it .....

I carnt wait for the next time a union goes out of control when the liberals are in power !!!

Nice precedent set !!!!

Chris6791 said...

I'm curious where the ten trillion dollars is going to come from?

No worries, Ill cover it.