longwinded said...
Dear God,
Firstly I would like to thank you for bestowing this flu upon me during a period of prolonged windlessness. This is much appreciated for in previous years my ailments have always seemed to occur during YOUR famous westerly fronts.
Unfortunately this period of convalescing has left me with the options of daytime television or trolling the internet and it is the latter that has prompted me to write to you today.
You see I like to read the forum of the seabreeze website, but during this period of windlessness, I have noted some worrying trends that I believe that you should be made aware of.
Firstly there is talk of revolution. Historically these are bloody affairs and I am sure that once the members of the forum figure out what to revolt about then somebody is bound to loose an eye. Freedom appears to be one of the precursers to this revolution but once again the freedom of what to do seems to be keeping the camps apart, but I fear that once a common stance is found then eyeballs will roll.
Secondly, confusion is abundant upon the forum. The posters cannot seem to agree whether the ocean floor is rising, sea levels are rising, or the shoreline is moving or whether it is all de'javu and there is a tidal wave of oil mixed with hay on it's way.
Thirdly, the confusion is not just limited to opinions. It appears that some of the members of this forum are confused about what they are too sexy for. The majority of this group believe that graphs are below thier sexiness, but in the extreme case of Ms Drifter, this confusion has extended to her ability to differentiate between what constitutes a funny image or one that just makes the masses turn pale.
In a far more worrying instance, Mr Fly started questioning YOU and YOUR followers. I am thankful of your foresight in placing forum administrators within the membership to lock off this topic before things got really messy.
It is the above wandering of the bored minds that leads me to fear that we will shortly make a martyr of Mr Ritchiefish by giving him his contreversial, interesting, mind boggling topic. This may cement his followers as idle hands are the devils helpers.
I do not write today merely to point out these worrying trends within the abovementioned forum. I beleive that YOU can help by sending a series of YOUR cold fronts to lash the West coast of WA.
Four consecutive fronts should do it as thier hands are soft and prone to blistering and after all of this sailing they will only be able to type about how good they were or how epic YOUR conditions are, and not type about the matters listed above. These fronts will also blow away any trace of a chemtrail or at least put low level cloud to obscure the trails from thier field of view.
I am uncertain what conditions you can whip up for the guys on the east coast, but the aforementioned weather system will significantly reduce the amount of followers available to be united by any potential martyrs.
I would also ask that you please do not use Windykid's method for prediction as the false hope generated by this method of prediction my be the straw that breaks the camel's back and turn the masses.
I thank you in advance and look forward to seeing the results of YOUR efforts.
Bored, Flu-ridden longwinded.
PS: It is a long weekend from Friday.
PPS: In the interim, could you find a decent picture for the caption comp (preferably something that can have red polka dot shorts drawn upon it).
pffft.. talk about longwinded
