I work as a plumbing contractor in a small community in Hawaii. I was finishing up a job a bit late today when someone I don't know called me complaining of two clogged toilets. Two clogged toilets? I said, you have a clogged main sewer line and I cannot fix it, you need someone with a main line sewer snake and there is only one person on this end of the island with that gear and he is the only one who can fix it.
No it's only the two toilets, everything else is fine he said. Sounds highly unusual I said, is the bathtub and shower backing up as well? No he said, they are fine. I said I can come out and run my auger thru the toilet but that is all I can do and it will cost at least $100, he agreed to this.
I have a really good sixth sense with regards to problem jobs and this one just didn't smell right, I went over several scenarios in my mind as I drove out there at 7PM.
When I got to the large property at a remote location there was a security guard just inside the gate, multiple vehicles and dozens of people walking about, WTF is this? When I pulled up at the house some guy with a walkie talkie came up to me and clued me in, apparently a reality TV show was being filmed with a bunch of young people stuffed into this big house.
I entered to find TV cameras and lights everywhere, water to the house turned off and raw sewage spilling out of two ground floor bathrooms and people walking thru it with no issues.
After augering the two toilets and turning the water back on it was quickly apparent the main sewer was clogged and/or the septic was full just like I told the guy on the phone before I came out.
Then I find out they hired some woman to try to fix it previously and all she did was shove a garden hose down a cleanout. I tried to explain the situation to them but they didn't really seem to or want to listen. I said they would need to call every septic and sewer cleaner on the island and offer big $ and someone would come to fix it. I put my tools away and approached the man who had called me and said that will be $100, he said "for what? you didn't do anything!" I was so mad I threatened to destroy the property with my truck (4X4), he relented and gave me $100 cash. HARSH WORDS WERE EXCHANGED.
I don't know exactly if it was the weird Hollywood attitude, the degenerate contrived TV morons walking about the house, the lack of respect for the rented property, the manner in which they were stupidly handling the problem, the way he lied to me, the lack of respect for local workers, allowing people to track raw sewage thru the house, probably all of it and just another reminder why I left California.

It was if I felt a need to be dramatic because they were filming.

Im putting my money on excessive numbers of condoms, somewhere down the pipe

Or female's sanitary pads

The thought of dropping a rather large cherry bomb with a long fuse down the dunny is the first thing that popped into my head.

Canadian dunnies are the same- and the water is damn cold.

stephen

Beaglebuddy said..

What is the difference between the toilet designs? I have heard reference to ours having a larger water spot.

US designed toilets seem to clog more easily, don't know why.

Beaglebuddy said..

What is the difference between the toilet designs? I have heard reference to ours having a larger water spot.[/quot

Beaglebuddy said..

What is the difference between the toilet designs? I have heard reference to ours having a larger water spot.

us toilets are like a waterbirth. The water is so high you are in danger of it touching your schlong. Bad for splash but good for seeing how long you can lay the cable unbroken. aussie toilets deep and narrow.

$100 bucks wouldn't even get a plumber to your house in oz.

kiteboy dave said..
All evidence says the water flow action both is more effective and uses less water. And doesn't wet your junk or risk floaters touching it.

Not to mention there's a larger target area of porcelain in the Australian version to aim at for much quieter number 1s when you don't want the whole house to know you're taking a leak.

sn said..

Canadian dunnies are the same- and the water is damn cold.

stephen

they are deep though.


Salty

Beaglebuddy said..
... and this one just didn't smell right...

I bet

Beaglebuddy said..


When the piss from up high hits the water or bowl a fine mist of it rises in the air and settles on the toilet and floor surrounding

It splashes my legs, feels like I am pissing on myself.

sausage said..

Beagle,
I stopped feeling sorry for you after the words "in Hawaii"

My first thought also

Where in Hawaii Beaglebuddy?

I live in Princeville on Kauai, not a great place to windsurf but a much better place to kite.

YOU FORGOT THE PUNCH LINE!

philn said..

Beaglebuddy said..

What is the difference between the toilet designs? I have heard reference to ours having a larger water spot.

US designed toilets seem to clog more easily, don't know why.

Lawyers are bigger over there ?

BennyB12 said...

Beaglebuddy said..

I will sit and piss like a woman.

Bahahahahahaha!!!
Sorry

I can't believe it took that long for someone to comment on that one.