Sensible Weight Loss Ideas

> 10 years ago
Reply
Register to post, see what you've read, and subscribe to topics.
hardman
hardman
1116 posts
1116 posts
4 Aug 2004 8:50am
Big Fat Hardie wants to lose weight for this summer.

I welcome any sensible ideas, as well as smartarse ridicule, thanking you anticipation

NB. Elmo, Cliffo, Decrepit, Greeenmachine, Kecksy and other wannabe comedians, no starcarsick posts please
__________________
Hardie
elmo
elmo
WA
8894 posts
WA, 8894 posts
4 Aug 2004 9:28am
To softer target

No pionts for takin the peeees here

Alby


Born Ugly, Just got better at it
leski
leski
NSW
661 posts
NSW, 661 posts
4 Aug 2004 1:03pm
good!!! I am allowed
so I've got that idea....perfect for ya...
each time you check seabreeze: you go running around your house once and do 10situps, 10 pushups, 10 pullups.
Each time you're posting a reply 2 times around the house, 20 sitsups, 20 push ups, 20 pullups
Each time you are writting a new subject 4, 40 , 40 ,40 ...and so on.
each time you are being stupid you run nonstop around the house for 30minutes ..mmmm although I am thinking that might scare off your neighbourgs. if they see you spending all day going nuts ..in circle around your house.

well anyway for sure that'll work...good luck

Lesk fitness consultant.
hardman
hardman
1116 posts
1116 posts
4 Aug 2004 2:07pm
Lesk does that mean I have to do voluntary exercise that's not related to windsurfing

Yeh, Good one

Some sensible contributions amongst the inevitable ridicule please

Hardie
poor relative
poor relative
WA
9106 posts
WA, 9106 posts
4 Aug 2004 4:27pm
Equipment you need
1. vacuum cleaner
2. Sharp knife
3. cotton and thread.
4. Booze
5. Butcher

Firstly drink drink and drink some more then lie flat on your back (easy step) Instruct the butcher to cut a deep incision over the fatty parts that you want removed
drink some more
place the end of the vacuum in the hole and turn on. Suck as much fatty tissue out as you wish to loose avoiding major organs such as liver, spleen and heart.
drink some more
then sew up the hole and continue drinking until the pain resides should be about three or four weeks
In a few short weeks you should have a figure elle would be jealous of

DIY Liposuction works like a dream and the perfect excuse to drink.

Ps i accept no liability for anything that may go wrong, and kids please dont try this at home.




poor relative
poor relative
WA
9106 posts
WA, 9106 posts
4 Aug 2004 5:09pm
laxatives are also a good way to go especially if your full of s*** like me
Fieldie
Fieldie
WA
361 posts
WA, 361 posts
5 Aug 2004 1:02pm
Hardie (or should we call you Cuddlie???? )

Oh my god!! There is so much emphasis on body image these days in the media and I am worried you are going to give the young guns an unrealistic vision of what is healthy for Wind Warriors.

We don't want Cliffo, Greeny, Shmage and Tozza getting Bohemia or Anoreximus or something just because you can't fit into your old fluro thong and shake it like you used to! You know how much they look up to you! (Dude, some of these young champs are only 65kg already!!!!)

A little more responsibility please!!!!!


(the up-shot is when you start to look like Calista Flockhart, you will not need that 120L slalom board I rode on the estuary that "fine cruisy 15-20 knot Sou' Easterly Monday morning" anymore! What make/year roughly would it be, Cuddlie?? I really need to get off my backside and look for a cheap old 120-130L board!!!)

Getting gone!!!
Seaton
hardman
hardman
1116 posts
1116 posts
5 Aug 2004 4:54pm
Kecksy,

You've shamed, of course I should have known, my pre-eminent position in the windsurfing world means that I weild great influence, and any action I may take may inadvertantly lead the young brood astray.

Dear Youngens,

In my battle with obesity, I am in no way am advocating that thin is good, if one does not eat enough, and become too pre-occupied with body image and thinness, you risk falling prey to the dreaded Anna Recksia Navratilova and her twin sister Bull Imia Navratilova. When these two get a hold of you they won't let go till you are skin and bone. (Apologies to anyone who has or is related to anyone with an eating disorder, no offence meant).

Eat and be merry my young one's, your grandiose elder will find a way to battle his bulge without resorting to any form of starvation. (as if that would be possible for a fat bastard like me)

Your slightly overweight 4 hamburgers a day and 3 serves of caramel icecream elder

Hardie
Fieldie
Fieldie
WA
361 posts
WA, 361 posts
5 Aug 2004 10:06pm
...short of that, a diet consisting only of double malt whiskey and cheap trucker speed should see the kilos fall off quick smart!!!!!!

(Just joking kids! Who can afford double malt whiskey these days?!!!)

Getting gone!!!
Seaton
Greenroom
Greenroom
WA
7608 posts
WA, 7608 posts
5 Aug 2004 10:24pm
hmmm... im not going to say a word... just soak it all in like a big sponge

GONE WITH THE WIND
Cliffo
Cliffo
WA
88 posts
WA, 88 posts
6 Aug 2004 6:57pm
Yeah Greenie, the 64 kg soaking wet sponge that you are

BC
Mcfly
Mcfly
WA
56 posts
WA, 56 posts
7 Aug 2004 6:15am
EAT LESS.**** MORE!!!!!

Mcfly
Mcfly
Mcfly
WA
56 posts
WA, 56 posts
7 Aug 2004 6:17am
hey, this ****ing censored forum wont let me type ****!???!

Mcfly
Mcfly
Mcfly
WA
56 posts
WA, 56 posts
7 Aug 2004 6:18am
****

Mcfly
pole boy
pole boy
WA
292 posts
WA, 292 posts
27 Aug 2004 9:53am
hate to be serious and all though i lost 15kg permenantly, just did basic exercise like ran 20k a week and changed diet to basically almost vege(made my girlfriend happy, damn vegeterians)like lots of brown rice, qwhite meat mainly poached and so on. it was a bit boaring but it worked

Life is but a dream, from which we all must wake.
hardman
hardman
1116 posts
1116 posts
27 Aug 2004 12:40pm
Poley,

I thought you said you'd be serious?

Run 20 kms a week, You really mean't 20 metres per week.........didn't you

let's see running back to my car because I've left my boom at home again, usually do that 2 to 3 times per week, about 3 metres from the rigging area to car, that's what......about 30-40 metres, should cover it no probs.

What's this no meat stuff, what I'd have to give up my 15 burgers per week, spicy spanish sausages, and chilli hot salami, llet's not go over board here mate

I'LL stick to the long distance running program first, and see how much weight I lose before I change my diet sheeesh whaday think I am Jenny Craig or sumfin

Hardie (Board Butcher)
pole boy
pole boy
WA
292 posts
WA, 292 posts
30 Aug 2004 10:51am
yeah i know hardie life's a bitch. your other choice is to turn into one of those yachting W@#kers and sit in a sauna in layers of wet weather gear. though then people wil have to question what side of the fence your on as well? i tell you what the meat bits damn hard to do, i would kill everyone in this forum to stop my girl from being vegeterian!!
have fun all Poley

Life is but a dream, from which we all must wake.
flake
flake
WA
116 posts
WA, 116 posts
4 Sep 2004 6:53pm
get off the computer stop drinking smoking eating crap watching t.v and go out on the water.
hardman
hardman
1116 posts
1116 posts
5 Sep 2004 7:10pm
Thanx for the advice guys, Thanx Flakey, good to seeya helpin out

I'm so happy I hit 100 kilo's for the first time in my life this week, I worked away up country and they had a fabulous cook 5 meals per day, 3 helpings of everything every mealtime, sensational

I always wanted to get to a century in some capacity, never quite manged it in exams, playing criket etc, but I've managed it in weight gain

The FAT PIG

Hardie (Board Butcher)
shmage
shmage
WA
318 posts
WA, 318 posts
7 Sep 2004 6:19pm
But think about it, now that you have reached a century you have a reason to go windsurfing when ever you like. If people ask, just say i windsurf all the time to loose weight. its a win win situation, you loose weigh and get to go windsurfing.
elmo
elmo
WA
8894 posts
WA, 8894 posts
8 Sep 2004 6:12pm
Hardies gone and taken thing to extremes now that he has hit the Tonne.

Not only does he go sailing on days so cold that you end up with 3 adams apples

He goes stuff this sailing lark I'm not losing weight Quick enough!!

I'm gonna swim the length (almost) of AVI Bay. No I'm not gonna take the soft option, I'm gonna swim it in the impact zone of shoulder -head high surf.

Then I'm gonna go absail ova da reef

After that warm up I'm gonna have a nice walk from the northern carpark back to the Point Carpark.

Hardy Hats of to you,

When you get serious about an excersize regime. You really do, don't you

Alby


Our reality is only our piont of view.
Please Register, or first...
Topics Subscribe Reply