The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which
was the other possibility.



As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in
plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.







In the first year, 's' will replace the soft
'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.



There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome
'ph' will be replaced with 'f'.
This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal
of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful
and it should go away.







By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with
'v'.







During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd
from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer,
ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten styl.







Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum
tru.







Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst
plas.


THIS MUST BE TRUE! I just read it on the internet.
What d'ya think Greenpat? How d'ya like them apples?