I, once during a high jump , had a similar event happening but got in trouble with some weird green kind of windsurfer, coming the other way and shooting at me he/she/it was st@rb0@rd, I found it hard to understand which star "it" was talking about, so shooted back STAAAAAAAARBOARD. and that's when it got nasty as so many of them arrived at the same height doing some sort of sixtuple loops...So I decided it 'll be safer to gently let the sail go a bit and try a soft landing, which wouldn't have been too bad if I didn't end up on a sand dune.
Since then I always open the sail when I hear the noise.

Sorry Error

Even the greats make mistakes

Hardie (Board Butcher and Reef Magnet)

I remember windsurfing in Russia in the late 80's, it was a real blast. I was on a work assignment with the Russian Government, helping Gorbachov with policy statements about his new Prystroika philosophy, we were working about 27 hours a day and totally buggered when he suggested we go for a weekend to his beach house on the Baltic sea.

When we got there, I noticed he had an old windsurfer in his garage and asked him if I could take it out, he said "Yeh no worries mate", in a russian accent of course. The next thing I know is we're both on this old windsurfer and we start doing these old freestyle tricks together. Anyway I climbed on top of his shoulders when a strong gust of wind hit, and F*#K me Dead I slipped on the poor old C*#ts head and scratched this deep gouge into the top of his scalp, and that's how come the poor bastard walks around with that purple splotch on his head

Sorry about that Gorby

As for you Greenroom, I know where you live and I'm comin to getchya

Hardie (Board Butcher and Reef Magnet)

Haride i think your lying about the Gorby thingo, in fact i know you are lying, you see i know how it happend, in fact i think i am responsible........... but dont tell anyone.

You see during those times, i was deeply involved in extracting dna and developing a pleasure park for dinasaurs, i suppose a Dinasaur Zoo if you like.

Now one of those huge flying beasts i managed to tame and would often take me on long flights around the world. Gorby and the KGB soon got wind of my experiments, as did bloody Steven Spielberg (Wa***er). As such they felt that they could use this beast to penetrate the american continent and finally gain world dominance.

I didnt know

So on a flight over Russia one day i noticed gorby below, he signalled me to land so he could inspect this beast further, I knew gorby from way back having often helped him develop his nuclear program, and given him advice regarding his exploits with vodka and nude models, Whilst on the flight down i smelt a rat and saw a KGB bloke running to capture the beast and murder myself, (i gained a mild laceration down my left side as one of the chaps tie pins got caught in m sock.)

Anyway as i was nearing the ground i realised what was happening, and as such immediatly took flight trying to gain altitude, the beast became disturbed by what was happening and lashed out lacerating Gorby's head thusly leaving him with the red mark that has never healed to this day.

So there you are.....

Iron arms,

Your right unfortunatly my age is against me, and i am too young for that event.........at least in my human form.

Prior to this more three dimentional life form i take on now, i was a spiritual being floating around in the cosmos. What a joy that was. Through deep meditation, and past life regressions it became clear to me that i was in fact a god.

As such i had overall command over evreything, vietnam war, love and peace, hippies and VW Kombis....yep i am responsible.

So in fact whilst actually not being alive at that time i do have some intimate knowledge of what happend....in fact i know those sordid thoughts you were having about those monkeys.

i spun a yarn once although im messed up from not wearing a thimble

GONE WITH THE WIND

See I can talk **** too

Haydz

Will you guys be sailing avi on thursday arvo... if i can get off work early i might come down

Haydz

you will be sorry haydz

GONE WITH THE WIND

Hey Hardie, it says that you are an 18 year old female... are you hot??? wanna go out???... maybe u are one of those internet sexual predators we used to get warned about at skool just kidding

Haydz

Filthy,

I am very Hot for an 18 yo girl, unfortunately most 18 yo girls are pretty cool (Frozen out of the loop unfortunately) for an old fat bastard like me

However, I do remember when I was a young bugger like yourself, and yes the bevvy of beauties would line up, I remember the little black book, at times seeing 3 women in a day, getting names mixed up, having to take multi-vitamin pills to keep up the energy........Them were the days

I remeber on one occassion on the Greek Island of Ios in 1983, I was seeing 2 swedish blondes at the same time, dangerous and exhausting business, one called Annika and the other Freda. Having come from a pretty conservative melb in the early 80's when trying to score was like playing cricket with a badmington racket and then meeting with these Scandanavian women who would come straight up to you and ask you staight back to their room to play doctors and nurses,..........Pretty hard to take, I used to think they were joking with me

On the first such occassion, I turned around not believing that she could possibly be talking to me.......I remember replying on one such occassion and I quote, "Who me....But I'm from Melb.....I usually have to get on my knees and beg for a phone number.......I must be in a dream, you can't possibly be real......????", Her reply was "Yu silly ostraylian boy, giv mi yor hand and fill this......Now du yu sink Ime rill.....?"

Oh the memories.....................

To be middle aged and decrepit is such a terrible thing..........The teststerone levels drop away, the looks are long gone, the flab takes over, the hairline recedes, the hair colour whitens, facial features decay, the breath putrefies, erections last no more than a few fleeting seconds, usually only in dreams, blood pressure goes through the roof, Cherish your youth young buggers...........Ageing is a terrible thing.......

Hardie (Board Butcher and Reef Magnet)

Leski,

Finally someone who understands and empathises, yes I would love a complete makeover, nip and tuck or whatever, I think I can now finally forgive you for being french

Unfortunately, I cannot take Viagra as I have high blood pressure, and it's the old painful bi-annual injections for me one on my birthday, and one for xmas

Hardina (Exchange Student staying at Hardie's place)

Shuuuuusssssshhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Greenie your'e too old now, need some younger flesh, I've got some new toys that Haydz might be interested in

I think to be really fair to forum users, I need to disclose some of my failures as well

I remember when Mahatma Ghandi consulted me on overthrowing British rule. I developed a brilliant detailed war plan for him and spent hours trying to convince him of the virtues and benefits of unrestricted violence, needless to say history tells us he rejected my ideas. I didn't take it too well at the time and regret what I said to him , it went something like this and I quote: "Listen Ghandi you Pacifist F#ckwit, there's no ****** way in the world this bullschit non-violent approach will ever work", Yes I got egg on my face with that one.

Hardina (Exchange Student staying at Hardie's place)

Hardie i know the chicks you are talking about. Svet and Svettie
They were certianly blessed with that ugly stick weren't they and a bit moist in places you really wouldnt expect....come on now.....tell the truth, shame the devil.

I would indeed like to share a myriad of stories with you about my exploits in Sweeden, however censorship on the forums is something i am acutely aware of, so i will have to refer you to "Big Jugs" Vol 4 edition 3 pages 20-37. They bought my tales and some photos and even posted a video that can be downloaded at www.lookatthatenormoustool.com.zb

that link doesnt work reli

GONE WITH THE WIND