Im in the same way with a good job and all the good things that come with that. I love the work I do but not a fan of the stupid hours I work which really affect me and the family time. Just came back from Fiji yesterday after a a great holiday which just highlighted how wrong we have our priorities in life. Must do something about this and plan the next stage of my work career, to do nothing is not going to make things better.

time for a gap year mayhaps?

needsalt said...
[br]I'm so grateful for everything I have - health, roof over my head, family, friends, shed full of saltwater toys etc. I hate the thought of ever taking things for granted.

I have a well-paying permanent job in a good location with good conditions and I am very grateful for that. Good jobs in regional locations seem increasingly scarce and I know I should appreciate what I have. But I hate it. It's big hours, high stress, I don't believe in what I do anymore and I don't trust the people I work with anymore. I keep trying really really hard to find the sunshine in it, but it just sucks ass.

How do you know when you're just taking things for granted and should suck it up? How do you know when it's time to man up and take a risk and search for happiness?

Is moving on reckless and ungrateful and stupid? Or brave and true? And how do you know the difference?

What do you want? Are you able to get what you want where you are?

I have started to agree with the idea of 'keep doing what you are and you keep on getting the same thing'. It is important though to make sure you have some sort of backup plan. For instance, if you move to somewhere with a larger population, make sure you have a job, or enough money to cover you until you do. If you leave your current job are you able to cover your costs while you find a more rewarding one?

People saying 'suck it up' is one thing, but its not that simple. It only looks at a short term outcome. You can keep on doing what you are, but the results won't change. If you feel unhappy with the result, that probably won't change too.

Moving on is not reckless, but it can consume a lot of time and money if you do it a lot.

i hear ya. I find empathy helps. Empathy for cleaners, labourers etc. often highly capable people stuck in a low paying unrewarding job due to circumstance.
Take on a project around the house. Paving or something. On the weekends get up at 6 to start at 7 and work all day through till 5 like you were employed to do it. then with aching back lying in bed imagine if you had to do it all year for half your wages.

If you stop and have an honest chat with yourself and ask what would I do if money wasn't part of the decision and I could do what I wanted. You may find a very drastic change in what your doing. Yes but what about money. Good point, the choice between living a long life miserable, or a shorter happy one.
I left a job in April this year that was more than enough to pay the bills. I was never home, didn't see the kids, missis, mates , surf ..... Etc etc. I took a years leave without pay. Couldn't afford too, but couldn't afford to just quit either. Maybe have a chat with your employer about taking some extended leave, it can help see what it is you want. It's tricky in three months if I don't go back to work ill be broke. But it's allowed me time to see where my life is going and what I'd lose if I kept on the same path.... Either way you have to trade things off, just try to keep something up your sleeve to buy either time for yourself/ family. Or a means of earlier escape from work due to the sacrifices you make now. Speak to your missy an kids ( if you got them) i had a chat with me daughter she reckons go back on the boats dad. If your captain ( jack sparrow is actually what she said) you can go surfing and catch fish..... Yeah good point

How many people have you heard/read about who, when on their deathbed, have said something like, "I so wish I'd worked harder, longer hours, instead of the time I wasted with my family, loving them and investing myself in them."?

needsalt, if it is any consolation, you certainly are not alone. I just wrote a massive post but deleted it because the bottom line was "you are not alone".

I am grateful for what I have and don't really want for much more. But there is something niggling at me. I'm probably a few years away from it yet, but I'm gonna go with mid-life crisis......

I like Loftywinds idea, but I reckon after the first week (or maybe two) I would start to regret it.

crustysailor said...

So if you where 20 again, what would you do?

That's the kicker though crustysailer. If I was 20 again, I would do what I did all over again. I haven't regretted it, I just wonder if it is time to change. My assumption is needsalt probably feels the same.

What started me off initially was a health scare. It turned out to be nothing, but it was an anxious few months. My profession requires a medical every year. If I fail that, I loose my job. If I loose my job, I have no other skills to fall back on to support my family. It is a sobering experience when you finally have that realization that we a not immortal.

But to answer your question, I did always want to be in the Navy

"What do you do for a living?" That is the question often pops up when you meet someone at a party, or BBQ.

A job is a form of transaction between your employer/clients and yourself. You sell your time and skills in exchange for a financial reward. It is quite rare to find someone who fully like their jobs. However, I believe those who are lucky enough to be in the research areas may really like and even live for their jobs. I believe it is the intrinsic rewards that keep these folks keep on keeping on. Everyday, every hour could potentially be a "Eureka" moment.

Those people who are able to set themselves "achievable" goals and targets, and do have the autonomy to do so, will find their jobs enjoyable.

What about pays? Scientists are not especially well paid, but they like their jobs. Basically it is the mental challenges and being lucky enough to be left alone in their dingy dark corners to do things only themselves understand.

I did have a very interesting job in software development. I believe I was quite capable and hence was basically left alone. It changed when the top management brought in young ass-holes who thought programming begins and ends with an Excel spreadsheet.

When I saw circumstances was changing, I looked for alternative. Not so much a new career, but I looked for an alternative means of income other than working for someone. I learned how to invest. The plan was that when I have sufficient fund to support myself, and I have had enough of those ass-holes, I will tell them to shove it.

It was hard to maintain a civil working relationships with those bastards and bitches, but I knew I had to.

The day when I simply gave a one-line resignation letter to the idiot boss, he was totally shocked as he thought he had me fully under control !

What next? I ended up doing contract work for the same company, and charged it twice as much. However, contract work can be sporadic, so you need to have sufficient finance to tide you over the lean times.

Thank you all so much. You've all given me heaps to think about. And always a bit comforting to know you're not alone

Take yourself out of the equation. The happiest people in the world are unselfish people. Use your position to buy food for hungry kids somewhere. Having said that you need to get a wave now and then to clear your head so you can be more helpful to others.

I bet iv changed my life more than anyone !
It drives me on with new challenges but I'm not that super motivated.
i just can't sit still for long, however the down side is I undo all the hardwork
and gain iv made.

my advise, take three months off to go on a adventure.
its long enough to get into it and live a different lifestyle.
then you'll know what you need or want!

Then you haven't upset the apple cart to much....

How do you afford it if yr on the poverty line?
True question not taking the piss...I struggle to take a wife and 2 kids and I earn a decent amount. Damn expensive to go overseas.

Nah, it's not unenlightened. As an employer I see it all the time, in about 5-10% of people. And it's not an attitude it's an observation.

It's a viscous circle where people resent their jobs more and more the less they try to accomplish. They have no sense of fulfillment, as you mention, and end up blaming the job itself. On the flip side, people who are putting effort in to getting stuff done, meeting deadlines, making customers happy, etc, generally are happy to have done so.

I'll repeat though, I did say it may not be needsalt's case.