NSW
3105 posts
If the ABC was Relevant (Part 44)
(a John Clarke, Bryan Dawes skit) - (The Customer)
[Scene: A car yard. BRYAN is perusing the stock.
He is approached by JOHN]
John: Morning! Looking for a new car?
Bryan: Nope. Prime Minister, actually.
John: You're the third one this morning. Anything in mind?
Bryan: You know....... nothing fancy, reliable, economical family model. Something to get the country from A to B.
John: You mean like a Howard?
Bryan: Yeah....a little Johnny. Nothing flash, does the job. Low maintenance, economical, sensible. Runs for years, no troubles.
John: So.... you used to have one?
Bryan: Yeah. About 10 years. Great little model – don't know why I got rid of him --biggest mistake I've ever made…
John: What happened?
Bryan: Traded him in for a Kevin 07.
John: Big mistake…
Bryan: Lot of people bought it. Good political mileage.
John: How was the Kevin 07?
Bryan: Came with a $900 factory rebate – that was good.
John: Anything else?
Bryan: Not much. Sounded nice but nothing under the bonnet. It was a lemon.
John: Didn't stick around for long did it?
Bryan: Nah – had a factory recall. Shipped overseas and was never seen again.
John: What was the problem?
Bryan: Lots. But the final straw was the navigation system. Plug it in and it automatically loses its own way.
John: Whatcha got now?
Bryan: It's a Gillard-Brown.
John: The hybrid?
Bryan: Yeah. The Eco-drive system – not a good idea. An engine that can't deliver hooked up to a transmission stuck in permanent reverse…
John: Green paintwork with a red interior. And steering that always lurches to the left for no apparent reason – that's the one?
Bryan: The Fustercluck model.
John: The only one they made, Bryan. Not the vehicle of choice for the road to recovery – but did they finish up fixing the navigation system?
Bryan: Made it worse. Turn it on and it does a press release, heads off in all directions and goes nowhere.
John: So that's why you're here?
Bryan: That's right. I'm stuck with a government that's wasteful, expensive, ineffective and past its use by date. I don't suppose you've heard of the “Cash for Clunkers” scheme?
John: Join the queue brother.
WA
23681 posts
Was funny until I realised it was so true that it is sad.
WA
2529 posts
^^^
+1
Clever writing. Sad but true story...
VIC
1321 posts
the dream, of a change of thinking in Australia is fast becoming a scary reality, we need a leader of substance and strength, right now we have leaders in both sides, devoid of those principles worth voting for, a compromise will probably do
QLD
19804 posts
looks like the next election will be sadly like the last one. if the other side get in it will be the same s###house, just a different door
NSW
2115 posts
Murdoch's media is much better... fair and balanced
NSW
9029 posts
Hmmm, all the models seem to be not up to the job. They are either face of the same coin of regulation, taxation, spending and control.
FFS it's a criminal act in this country to grow certain plants. People from 100 years ago would have thought that to be a joke.
VIC
5904 posts
Malcom Turnbull is most definatly a better choise than Tony Abbot.
VIC
1321 posts
I agree, the message he sends, is what I would call a well considered and balanced view, which on the World stage, present Australia as more sophisticated in its portrayal of Local and World affairs rather than what we have at present, a catch /grab [both sides] short term thinking, divisive red neck backwater portrayed, we deserve better
