The room has
suddenly grown cold
and outside in the
street it's raining

You packed your bags
and sald good-bye

you took my heart
without explaining.
How could you go
how could you go

we had a love most
people never know.
Stop
before you break my heart.

I want you back
don't care what I have to do
I want you back

I want you back
gotta get it through to you
I want you back.
If I can make you
see only you can
fill the need in me

If you walk away
you'll regret it
someday
please
stay!

This room is full of memories
and shadows of the
last remind me
Of all the love I gave in vain
and all the hurt I
fee inside me.
I want you back
I want you back

we had a love most
people never know.
Stop
before you break my heart.

I want you back
don't care what I have to do

I want you back
. . .

I want you back
I
I want you back

I want you back
I
I want you
I want you back!
We had a love most
people never know

stop
before you break my heart.

I want you back
don't care what I have to do

I want you back
. . .
I want you back
don't care what I have to do

I want you back
. . .

Thats not cheering me up! its bloody depressing.

I've never been there Rob, but I've been around long enough to know it hardly ever works the 2nd time around, we never really change as much as we'd like to.

So don't turn it into a drama, love you kids and respect their mum, tell her you love her but not every bloody minute (no pressure), she'll come back if she wants

Cheers,
Aunty Bob.

Mate, if she expects you to act as the father of both her children then she must know you are at least half decent and must be a better father than the biological father.

I too haven't been down the road you are travelling so I can't give you any advice. There are people out there that will give advice though.

Mate only you know your situation & know the possibilities of the relationship being repaired. Unless they've moved on it is tough on both sides, so often either backs themselves into a corner & alot of stuff is said which may not be meant so dont read into the words too much atm. Back off for a bit until you are both able to have rational discussion. Focus on your life & that of the kids. Keep yourself busy by whatever means & try not to think about the relationship at all- self improve for your reasons, not someone elses but obviously think if there is any truth in what they've said.

oh regarding your mates biased response you just have to remind them you still have feelings for her & them baggn her isnt constructive. The people that know you best should also be able to say mate u screwed up if u did. Sorry bout the above format, phone net gives limitd space & no paragraphs.

Hiya Mate,
Hang in there. Your thoughts of taking a step back are probably best for the moment. Do what you can to help when required. The situation may not get better for a while but it will get easier with time.
Don't forget to look after yourself and keep yourself busy with something that you love to do.

take ya self down to the whore house and i bet that will brighten your day up

I had a simliar problem with a two piece mast that was stuck.

Try soaking the relationship in soapy water and then get a friend to jiggle the other end with you.

Hey hurt turtle,

Since you helped get me into surfing 12 years ago, and since you brought it up on a public forum, I thought I would offer my advice/observations. An added benefit for you is that if I'm way off the mark then you will know

Firstly I would suggest that you sort out when and how often you look after her kid from another father. Since you weren't allowed complete parental control of him (weren't allowed to discipline him) when you were in the relationship why does she expect you to be his parent now that you have broken up

You were willing to assist in looking after her first child. Good on ya! More power to you. It's a noble thing. Let me relieve you of any guilt though. You shouldn't be under any pressure to care for her first child just because you were a good bloke while you were with her. His father should be bearing that guilt, not you.

It's your decision whether you want to have a father type relationship with him or not. Of course it would be a good thing if you do decide to kick the ball or hang out with him regularly. Keeping in mind that you definitely have an obligation to look after you own child, how many times a month and when you offer to be his mentor on top of that is completely up to you.

Story time: My wifes friend (who is female) got divorced. 2 of her kids were her ex-husband's and 1 was from a previous relationship (the guy from a previous relationship offered next to nothing financially or emotionally to his kid in 12 years). Anyway, through court process, etc etc, her ex-husband ended up with weekend and wednesday evening 'parent time' with his 2 kids. Even though it was a long bitter court process, he persisted in regularly offering to care and parent the older child that wasn't biologically his! By doing this he earnt alot of quiet respect.

If you believe that you do want to be in the child's life long term, and not just keeping the ex happy for now, then put some time aside for him. Maybe spend a couple hours with just him every second Wednesday (or whenever suits).

Now on to my second piece of observation and advice...