Cant allow the perversion go on.
Everyone everywhere needs to know that the "Poor Rellie" we have learnt to love; U know the poor-bugger-me kiter with the crapest kites, even crappier boards & tattered to G String wetty etc etc; is no more.
Spotted beachside recently was the 'new' PR sporting latest 12M XBow, brand new ripcurl steamer, feature packed North waist harness & now his brand new 06 Addiction Edge.
Our 'Poor Rellie' these days is lookin every inch the (very well fed) 'Rich Uncle'.
I'm sure the entertaining tales of PR's woes will continue (least I hope so) but thought u should know that from now its all fiction - based on a legendary character from the days of yore

No no Puppet, dear fellow that wasnt me i was rescuing abandoned puppies in balga this morning.

That indeed was my twin brother, poor boy, he is married to a wealthy transvestite from portugaul shes obviously supporting his kiting habit.
Mind you good looking bloke isnt he, and by gummy he can boost.

completely plausible