Here's the deal.

1 Sandwich Maker
Pros: great cook and mother to the two young uns, little bit cuddly ( read curvy), works part time, happy thing mostly, likes a drink and a laugh, puts out reasonably regularly even though we have been married 15 years.

Cons: Hates being called sandwich maker and has absolutely no understanding of the theory that all plans, no matter how important, become null and void once the wind begins to turn. Gets cranky All to quick once I start packing the kites in the car whilst she is getting ready for an afternoon barbie.

All offers considered.

You should have got the Wind Clause into your marriage agreement.



The Wind Clause

I the undersigned have read, understood and agreed to the following:

I will let kiter___________ (insert your name here) out of any previous plans we mave have made if there is a chance the wind might come up. I will never ask him to reconsider our previous plans, OR give him shiite for breaking off said plans to go kiting

I will let said kiter ride as often as the wind blows and not make any plans for him/us if the wind forecast shows its gonna blow for days

I will let said kiter out of making dinner or cleaning the dishes if he needs to clean his gear, rerig, or untangle lines.

I will pick up said kiter at any downwind location at anytime if he has it in his heart to do a downwinder. I will rearrange my schedule to fit the optimal wind window for his downwinder

I WILL NEVER tell him he cant spend money on new kite gear, equip, or related paraphenial, even if the money comes out of our joint acct.

I WILL NEVER complain if hes too tired after a day of kiting and he hasnt the energy to engage in coital tenderness. I will eagerly await when he is ready to participate or simply do all the hard work for him.

I will NEVER COMPLAIN that he spends too much time on the water and not enough with me


I WILL LOVE MY KITER FOR BEING A KITER and never ask hime to change

I ________________ (insert girls/boys name here) have read and understood the above statements and agree to comply fully with the bounds of this binding agreement.

That immortal line for all those Life Of Brian fans
"You are a naughty naughty boy"
The female in a relationship should be granted total ignorance about how a BBQ works if she so wishes...

Great thoughts -- re marital clauses - U will have 2 get really sophisticated 2 get that signed off after 15 yrs - "Always look on the bright side of Life da dum da de..."

However - the strategy -- start encouraging // teaching the youngsters --

I now have 1 who leaves me for dead, 1 who is riding and holding ground, and 1 who loves surf but adding a kite is gay - & mum will come and film on occasion, and help with transport setup for down winders so -- plan ahead - and your light wind days will mean you sit on the beach while the youngster uses your big kite

AP

Post pics of wife.
I'll take her if she's tidy...

Simstat.

I have a better deal. You keep her (and thus all the benefits that entails)

But when you go kiting I will come around and make her ummm - happy.

Now what could be better than that? Happy wife-happy life my friend.

Yeah Mark but then you miss out on valuable kiting time , maybe an office hours visit might be more suited to your lifestyle.

Mark _australia said...
Simstat.

I have a better deal. You keep her (and thus all the benefits that entails)

But when you go kiting I will come around and make her ummm - happy.

Now what could be better than that? Happy wife-happy life my friend.

Mark, I take it you mean attending those all to important BBQ's on my behalf? No problem however I am going to doubt your reliability given the reason I am not there is the same reason you are 'busy' each afternoon through summer.

If you meant the other, well provided you keep your boardies on over your settle, we won't have a problem