Alright you keen kiters i have a secret.
After realising that there is no money to be made in selling my body for medical research i have decided to make and sell kites.

I have developed a new design that took 20 mins and it is going to blow your socks off.

The kite itself is bright pink with lime green flowers on it,
You will be powered in sub 5kn on a YEP an 8 METRE.........
Due to the amazing depower this 8 metre will also be very manageable in 50kn+
The safety is revolutionary all you have to do is shout "oh ****" (a normal reflex when in trouble) and it gently lands on the water. Relaunch is the opposite you shout "this is sooooooo gooooood" and up it goes.

I also plan to have demos of these kites at my new recently built resort on an island near kalgoorlie and 4 lucky readers of seabreeze can win an all expenses paid trip to demo these spectacular beasts at my resort which is (almost) built on a marina filled with my breast milk......
are you excited.....?????? I'm so excited i'm lactating.....
Kiting will never be the same
This is the future......

i think i saw a 200kg guy riding the 3m version in 0.01 knots, he was going upwind and jumping about 300 meters in the air, of course i will have to recalibrate my mesuring tape and wind meter.

LMAO!

Or just simply "BREAST" the mother of all kites!

BREAST.......the mother of all kites

Its in production Northside is now a fully paid up employee of ample bosom ltd.
we are going into production with this kite next week and northside will have a supply of 4 to sell mid 2006. until that time expect to see and hear a lot about this breast kite
Forums will never be the same
Kiting has changed forever
This is the future.......Breast (by ample bosom ltd) is best.........

quote:

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Cuz its the famous "It's too good to be true" statement... If soemthing like that did exist, don't you think it'd be patiented already by Naish, Caution, Cabrinha or another kiting company?

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Elizabeth. you will see this design will change kiting as we know it forever.
no-one will want to kite in open water again, favouring breast milk instead.
No-one will ride any other kite aside from Breast (by ample bosom kite ltd)
everything before is obselete......bring on the Breast...
why do you doubt me...i am a simple man of simple pleasures why should i lie, i have nothing to gain....????

Rellie... Ohhh you mean good ole cliff124 who said I " think i saw a 200kg guy riding the 3m version in 0.01 knots".... thats right...

and Northside who thinks you can "flog them off for $10,000 without including bar, lines or pump" ..... sure ....

and you developed a "new design that took 20 mins"... you must be a great archietect... [}:)] pmsl 2 it all mate...

Part from the little wind in Kal, and the Milk and no water... you need to stop drinking whatever ur drinking atm,c uz its making u think crooked... good re-deisgning rellie..

Elizabeth - Wello Grommit

Lizzy
Didnt I warn you bout talking to dirty ol men on the forum
I dunno kids today - they just refuse to listen
PR & NS are not to be meddled with ... even lightly ... B warned.

quote:

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Originally posted by NorthSide

This revolutionary new kite design doesn't have to be a wopping great 13BS cup... it could be even smaller... just think, smaller breast kites giving just as much pleasure as their larger obselete competitors.

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The larger Breasts are very attractive, but they can be very hard to handle when they're flapping around uncontrollably in your face, especially when you have them bouncing on a bar thats too long. Recently I've switched to the smaller Breasts and tried them on different bars, and I'm happy to report that a Breast that is clearly smaller than a "trainer" size performs extraordinarily well with a longer thicker bar. The feeling is smooth, the handling tight, and it just stayed up for ever. I hadn't had this much fun since I last thad sex!

I'm so excited about the new Breasts that I've pre-ordered three quivers, one for work, one for home, and one for play... coz, when it comes to Breasts they can never quiver enough!


BTW. when is the new line of electric Breast Pumps available? Is it true that there will be a travel size? (reports say it will be called the Nipple)

... and how soon before we can see the new Breast carbon bar (touted to be called the Titty Bar)?

Marketing idea!

BREAST KITES! SUCK ON THIS!

(Picture of Poor Relly flying the latest BREAST kite, boosting naked in an upside down spider monkey position)

What do you think PR can I work for your marketing team???

I'm not affiliaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiated with Breast (nor am I with the kite company of the same name), but.... (ahem)

I'm OUTRAGED, INDIGNANT, PIOUS AS THE NEW POPE, and SAVAGELY CONCERNED with the SLANDER and PROVOCATIVE INSINUATION that the Kalgoorlie kitepark's (proposed) buttery smooth milk will curdle, and/or turn to, well... butter.

I've known the owners of said Breast for a long time (and almost
Biblically), and can certainly vouch for their love of Breast, and kiting in general. They would never foist a half-arshed dairy product, kite, nor hole in the ground on anyone, let alone kindly and cultured minions of Kalgoorlie.

This sort of inflammatory posting is UNFOUNDED, IRRESPONSIBLE, and should be erased, censored, and struck from the public record. Only responsible, decent, upright, legal, nice, dutifully god-fearing, immaculately informed people(like me) should be allowed on this forum.

Ignorant post-ers who don't keep abreast of things, and try to cleave public opinion asunder, should have their TROUBLEMAKINGnipped in their buds.

quote:

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Originally posted by Uber
Poor Relly boosting naked

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OMG NO - mental images produce projectile vomiting more copious than breast milk ever could YUK

Lets turn to a far more pleasant topic ... this BREAST - Mother Of All Kites.
Im sure the smaller Breasts would be ever so sweet, responsive & handleable no matter how powered-up the action gets.
AND I hear the 13m has a wind range of 10>25 kts so a 1 kite quiver may be possible for most days if you decide to 'run a MOAK'
BUT Im still chasing the sub 10kt option so Im really interested in the lightwind 'B.M.F. Breasts'. The 45DD BMF is surely built for comfort. The design has just gotta be way out there OMG The very thought of it gets me up & going regardless of the wind When can I get my hands on a real B.M.F. Breast ??
Pleeeese Poor Rellie - I love being first

WOW the interest in Breast by ample bosom ltd has by far exceeded all expectations, so i thought it fair to update everyone about the latest and greatest thing ever to grace kiting....

The kalgoorlie sandfari is up and running i have ben lactating 24 hours a day non stop since last thursday, as have a selection of Breast new mothers....and my man boobs are sore. However the marina is now full to brimming and the first stacer runabout was penned this morning. The kiting area is phenominal, butter flat breast milk as far as the eye can see, and toasty warm. If you fall off you can simply sip this "liquid of the gods" and before you know it you are replenshed. Furniture coming tomorrow...hopefully.... wind is always in 25 hours a day. First "punters" arrive tomorrow so expect some tasty reviews.

Uber is emplyed by Breast to undertake marketing, and Northside is a partner though they should never admit it openly and continue to give non bias reviews on the forums.

we are now looking at sponsering riders...Gruiezei and Puppet are already signed up and enjoying all the benefits that only a breast can provide.

We are expanding our product range with a new Breast pump, with double suction as well as hard "pump up"
And our new range of areola boards which have that special sweet spot are second to none......


Ahhhhhh Breast, making all the other kite manufacturers look like nipples.

enough with the talk..... I want some photos of these BREAST'S

You forgot to mention that the Pamela is totaly new technology being silicone cored and thus self sealing

mmm Pyslor I bet u smell real noice too

Cant wait to get u in those pink leather hotpants for our next promo shoot

Pammy has no chance!!

Slogan

Keep aBREAST with the latest tacknowlegy
You'd be a Boob if you don't have a Breast

Testing days
"Come and feel our Breasts"