So we've had our yacht for a couple of years. Started teaching my partner basic stuff to do with sailing. It's a delicate subject when things go wrong but I feel I should persist. We normally end up in some sort of "you said, I did, I said, you did what" form of heated discussion( read argument)
my partner loves sailing so I try my best to be a good skipper but it seems when its busy or ****s happening, you cant always be their best friend as well??? so I ask who teaches what to their partners. Crash tacks? MOB stuff? Be interested to hear how you got on :)

I allways tell partners and others that when I raise my voice it's simply because something is happening that is urgent and I am trying to get your attention, or that I think because of wind or other noises you can't hear me. It's never because I'm yelling at them. Never.

Well I sail with three of us.... I, me and myself..

When we yell it's because something has gone wrong!!

Dosen't make any difference though!!

One of the most important things that crew and guests aboard a yacht must learn is to return everything to exactly where they got it from.

Shipshape in Bristol fashion, a place for everything and everything in it's place.

The most important thing I try to do with all crew (inc. the mrs) is run them through exactly what is happening before it happens, what is expected of them and what to do when something goes wrong. In this way they have the best ability to react appropriately. No yelling weighing anchor - Hand signals from the bow means everyone knows what is going on. The missus doesnt really like sailing but luckily loves getting to the places you can only see on a boat. 15000nm later she still gets sea sick for or the first 24 hours...

If your sailing a lot with your partner the two of you should be interchangeable i.e. you can do everything they can do and vica versa. At a minimum they should atleast know what to do in the instance of you lying down and not getting back up again. Knew of one couple, the skipper took a permanent sleep onboard, the partner didn't know how to sail the boat or raise help on coms, had no interest and was never taught, she did the cooking and cleaning while he handled the boat, pretty inexcusable on both behalfs.

For me (or rather my Mrs) the most important thing is to keep things under control and very low levels of anxiety/arousal/alarm. She is not a confident sailor but like Santanasaga's Mrs she does enjoy what happens once you get to where you are going and she has a glass of bubbly in hand.

I have learnt through experience that it is far better to get to our destination slowly and with the boat sitting flat, even if this means puttering along with a No3 genoa and no main in a moderate breeze than it is to drive the boat along and get there quicker and thus making it more enjoyable for me. I have tried all sorts of things to make the experience more enjoyable for her including appealing to logic and explaining why the boat won't capsize, running her through things and providing as much guidance and instruction as I dare etc. But at the end of the day I have reached the conclusion that whilst she may enjoy certain aspects of being on the boat sadly she is never going to be a sailor

every time we go out, my wife and kids (and myself actually) learn something new.

It's gratifying to see them becoming more confident on what they can do on the boat, and that their list of 'jobs' or duties gets longer each time.
( it's now to the point where I can now raise the main without steering, or winching the halyard, just watching the lazyjacks and battens. :))

Also, best tip is probably not to automatically be the one on the helm when docking or definitely when picking the mooring up.
You're most likely to be the strongest, and more suitable when the wind picks up at least.

All it takes is some time teaching, and being clear on how you intent to come in alongside.

santanasaga said..

The missus doesnt really like sailing but luckily loves getting to the places you can only see on a boat. 15000nm later she still gets sea sick for or the first 24 hours...

There are women around that LOVE sailing but rarely it is the woman you marry. One of God's cruel jokes on blokes.

If you can get a woman to sail with you to a beautiful anchorage where you dinghy ashore and have a beach BBQ in the evening and the moon shines a direct reflection over the water at you, it is as about as romantic as it will ever get.

If that does not work, it is time to find another woman.

Except for the seasickness you seem to have hit the right chord.

cisco said..

santanasaga said..

The missus doesnt really like sailing but luckily loves getting to the places you can only see on a boat. 15000nm later she still gets sea sick for or the first 24 hours...

There are women around that LOVE sailing but rarely it is the woman you marry. One of God's cruel jokes on blokes.

If you can get a woman to sail with you to a beautiful anchorage where you dinghy ashore and have a beach BBQ in the evening and the moon shines a direct reflection over the water at you, it is as about as romantic as it will ever get.



Except for the seasickness you seem to have hit the right chord.

Hehehehe Found one Cisco . 2nd parts bull**** though

madmission said..


That worked sort of but what really done in the sailing thing for her was in the next season cartwheeling said A class with her on trapeze

That would do it for me too I think.

I try, I really do, but I like to sail my boat at best boat speed. Luckily the S&S has great stability so heel rarely gets over 10-15 degrees but my darling wife of 35 years just doesn't like it. I also am one who tends to be loud when I need to have something done NOW. I am lucky she is very forgiving and we have Broken Bay near at hand to pick up a mooring and watch the sunset.
I have taken her through MOB etc and am confident if I go over she can stop the boat and get it near me.

santanasaga said..

It is worth persisting as there are some beautiful romantic anchorages out there and it is always nice to share them with someone...

And that is what it is all about.

After reading this I'm going to tell my partner how lucky he is to have a woman who wants more sail up ,wants to go faster and says come on lets stick the spinnaker up.!!...(This is when he's whinging about having to do the foredeck work...).Mind you I want to do more of this on the new boat.
I love it when waves are crashing over the deck and the gunwhale is awash..( on the lake and in c 20kts offshore). I'd probably be a whimp in a storm.
Guys the downside to having a woman who knows how to sail and has a competitive streak ( I'm into GPS speed sailboarding) is that you can end up getting 2 skippers and arguing ....Mind you I've mellowed a little in my old age and at least ask nicely if I can helm..