They call us hodads?...Check out this nasty (amusing) piece of SUP bashing.

Chick here.. http://www.huckmagazine.com/blog/screw-stand-paddle-boarding/#comments

DJ

"SUPS... The Next Big Thing in Surfing... You gotta get one!" Bet you've heard that recently, right? Call me shallow, but as a devoted shortboarder I reckon screw 'em. Us poor regular surf folk already have to deal with ignorant kooks, wave hog longboarders, gormless bodyboarders, the odd useless goat boat and crippled kneelo... now we have to compete with these stand-up paddle goons too?

These hodads, for whom the only requirements are general fitness and basic pedestrian balance, seem poised to take over the world's line-ups. Can you think of anything worse? I call it the 'Stand Up Paddleboard Apocalypse', or 'Armaggedon of the One Armed Paddlers'. Either way, it could end the world of surfing as we know it. After all, this is a surfboard (term used loosely here) you can literally ride on a ripple. Turncoat surfers who buy paddleboards aside, the doomsday scenario is if the greater public discover the stand up paddling "work out" en mass, which is already happening. Most popular urban beaches are a nightmare as it is. No room to swing a rashvest. If the SUP elbows its way into the remaining gap, we could conceivably be overwhelmed by these graceless, throwback buffoons with their oversized spoons.
Anyone selling SUPs will be stoked of course, but not the rest of us normal surfers trying to avoid these potential super wave hogs. Even the longboarders are getting bummed. And unlike mal riders, who still require a basic understanding of line up dynamics and surf etiquette (even if these are mostly ignored), as well as rudimentary paddle out and take off skills, SUPs arguably require none, bar said ability to stand upright and dig, which any monkey can do. At most breaks with a decent channel, it's therefore a cinch for Wilbur SUP pilot to wobble about, even if it's pitching thick out the back. Just heave ho and you are out there. Before long SUPs could easily become a factor at most average surfbreaks, where surfers won't even have to ever duckdive, or learn to respect the better surfers in the water, in order to get waves.
Predictably, stand up supporters have protested that the SUP is a good workout and a functional wave-riding machine, and promise that they will not be pigs in the water. But isn't that what the post-revival longboarders all said, and now look at them on a mellow four foot day at your local. And whilst Robbie Naish can indeed ride an SUP at Pipe or Laird or Teehaupo, not everyone has those skill levels, let alone jock suburbanites with more money than sense.
Indeed, throw a couple of clueless or selfish iron man SUP riders - eggbeating into waves from far out the back - into the organised chaos of a good rush hour session and watch the tension mount. It wouldn't take many, maybe three or four SUPs, calling everyone from sets, to completely transform the mellowest rotation and irk even the most chilled locals. What's more, as these SUP scum will conveniently bypass any rites of passage to the ocean, they will of course have to be heckled by indignant regular surfers. As a result there will probably be fights - although maybe only for the most aggressive and surf rage afflicted. Think about it: would you really hurl abuse at some buff gym pratt looming above you in the water holding a massive carbon fibre paddle above your head?
Before long, in a far worse rendition of the longboard revival, SUPs could start to dominate sessions and it will be a case of beat 'em or join 'em - or drive somewhere else, where there will probably be more SUPS anyway, multiplying along the coast like foot rot in a shower. It's a future too bleak to contemplate, although for places like Hawaii, it's apparently already too late. In fact, if these SUP boards and their inept riders take over, it will do nothing but drag our sport back into prehistory. In my opinion, in terms of progressing surfing, the SUP arguably lies somewhere beneath your granny riding a lilo at Newquay. For that reason alone, I will never get a SUP.
Well, that and the fact that I can't afford one.

I only got about quarter of the way through & had to stop because I was cracking up too much - it's funny IMO, quite well written diatribe I will try to read it all sometime lol.

I reckon there is a legitimate cause for concern, with dumb disrespectfull SUP users at traditional shortboard surf-spots.

But you can guarantee that the guy who has the time & energy to write that piece has little respect for anyone but himself & his legendary shortboard skills - If he has such a powerfull reaction like this I'm guessing he is actually having inner turmoil & probably will be ripping on a SUP in another year - teaching all the hodads to have some respect of his SUP styles

Apart from the somewhat insulting language he is exactly right.

It's a bit pointless though. You currently get "good" surfers dominating breaks. It's only natural that the rest of us look to better surf equipment to get a share of the waves.

The big revolution in SUP will be outside the surf. SUP are surfboards for those of us who don't live near the surf.

The mass invasion of good surf spots hasn't happened yet. I've only once seen other SUPs out when I've been out, surfing or flat water paddling.

Classic!

Didn't goat boats and boogie boarders suffer threat of assasination back in their respective hey days? It has been amazing to see the evolution of the body board rider - they are undoubtedly some of the most radical surfers around nowadays.Thank god though the goat boat fraternity has declined, or at least moved to mals and away from decent surf. In the 80's many of those guys were dangerous ( to be fiar though, a handful were and still are excellent riders - they could do aerials long before shortboarders)

I think good short boarders needn't worry about their breaks being overtaken (here in Australia). SUP's are best suited to rolling point surf rather than top to bottom style waves conditions for the majority of riders.Furthermore, you'd be a fool to take an sup out in crowded conditions unless you knew what you were doing. A mouthful of abuse, or at the least some polite instruction on how to surf etc would be deserved. I remember my 1st ignorant drop in and tongue lashing set me straight.

The possibilites for long distance paddles and riding places / waves that short boarders etc. can't get excited about are what make the sup craft special.

That said, newcomers to surfing in waves etc. need to be sensitive to the etiqutte as a wave hog or drop in fiend on any form of surf craft can really spoil the fun. Perhaps there is a thread on this forum which explains basic surf etiquette that could be re posted?

"Hodads"???? - who is this guy, some sort of Gidget throwback...

Article was quite funny and some good points raised, albeit from a pretty narrow point of view. Each to their own, so I am thinking that maybe the author figures that if he writes enough articles he will end up with enough cash to buy a SUP for himself.

LOL i think someone is jealous .

I think he has missed the point completly. Sure there's sup in the waves but what about those ladies and men that are super stoked on just flat water paddling & never even want to take their sup in the waves.

When he is sitting around drinking beers and watchin TV, getting fat and old, he will wish he had a sup LOL.

XX angie

Where was this posted? In another forum or printed?
If it was from a forum it would be interesting to see the other hate getting thrown around!

Yeah he sure has some valid points right there for sure, but he does sound like a real wan*er .
What he is getting at is when people can just jump on a board and paddle out to a crowded surf break, with no grommethood or proir knowledge of how it all works in a crowded session, it will get really dangerous.
Normally on a shortboard you spend 6 months alone just learning how to paddle and duckdive & actually getting out the back.

I reckon a kook, is a kook, is a kook, no matter what they are on, Some of your biggest kooks are your 25yr old learning to surf on a mini mal, letting the board go and flying everywhere.
Sometimes im a kook when Im standing waiting for a wave and I just fall off but Im not a dangerous kook, letting boards go and being out where I shouldnt be.

just my 2c worth

simple fact of the matter is.... most shortboarders cannot ride their own craft.
they might think they're slater or bodie from point break, but seriously, most short board riders have ungraceful poo stances and can barely link one turn with another.
most shortboarders are of the weekend warrior persuasion and are riding the wrong type of equipment for their own amount of personal ability anyway, i.e, too short too thin, too narrow, straight off the shelf fom the pages of the glossy magazines.
most shortboarders are trying to achieve a surfing image or ideal in their heads, rather than a reality in the water.

i've always wondered if this has anything to do with the short board ego agro.
since sup, i've redicovered the joy of riding one foot waves which seem to run for ages down in kiddies corner at my local beach, while the shortboarders wait in a thirty something shoulder to shoulder pack in the alley for a barely breaking two foot set.
the last few weeks around here there has been dismal swell, but that hasn't stopped me from surfing three times everyday. there are always shortboarders out floundering trying to paddle into knee high gutless waves... whats the point..?
these guys often go home more frustrated, you ask them what the surf is like, and they all bar none say it's crap..
ask me, and i'll tell you through my ear to ear grin that it was awesome fun.
the old dinosaur mal riders are sore at us, because now there's someone who has it over them on the small days and they're too set in their ways to make the change.
the shortboarders will be sore at us because we challenge their ego image of what it is to be a 'radical, cool surfer dude straight from the pages of pro surfing magazine', by just having fun.
when the conditions dictate, i will always ride my shortboard, i will always ride my mini mal and increasing, because the conditions dictate, but also because its just too much fun, i will always ride my sup

theDoctor said...

simple fact of the matter is.... most shortboarders cannot ride their own craft.
they might think they're slater or bodie from point break, but seriously, most short board riders have ungraceful poo stances and can barely link one turn with another.
most shortboarders are of the weekend warrior persuasion and are riding the wrong type of equipment for their own amount of personal ability anyway, i.e, too short too thin, too narrow, straight off the shelf fom the pages of the glossy magazines.
most shortboarders are trying to achieve a surfing image or ideal in their heads, rather than a reality in the water.

i've always wondered if this has anything to do with the short board ego agro.
since sup, i've redicovered the joy of riding one foot waves which seem to run for ages down in kiddies corner at my local beach, while the shortboarders wait in a thirty something shoulder to shoulder pack in the alley for a barely breaking two foot set.
the last few weeks around here there has been dismal swell, but that hasn't stopped me from surfing three times everyday. there are always shortboarders out floundering trying to paddle into knee high gutless waves... whats the point..?
these guys often go home more frustrated, you ask them what the surf is like, and they all bar none say it's crap..
ask me, and i'll tell you through my ear to ear grin that it was awesome fun.
the old dinosaur mal riders are sore at us, because now there's someone who has it over them on the small days and they're too set in their ways to make the change.
the shortboarders will be sore at us because we challenge their ego image of what it is to be a 'radical, cool surfer dude straight from the pages of pro surfing magazine', by just having fun.
when the conditions dictate, i will always ride my shortboard, i will always ride my mini mal and increasing, because the conditions dictate, but also because its just too much fun, i will always ride my sup

In a nutshell Doc, excellent response I know i now laugh to myself when Im out and theres guys out in 2ft surf on 6 2" x 18" x 2 1/4 shortboards competing with me for waves, they are just wasting there time, flapping around catching nothingI reckon I wasted 10 yrs of my surfing life riding slater like boards in crap surf, I love me suping and are getting more waves than ever Now that cant be bad, Ive done my 25 yrs on a short board in crap small waves, I did swap boards with a mate who was out on a 6 8" the other day while he tried my sup and had fun, but on slow sections I kept looking for my paddle for some boost

HEY DOC, come to the gold coast and see how they rip tear anything,not shouting you down mate but i really dont agree with your shortboard comment,Me a longboarder x shortboader to old now haha! BTW I agree with you on the other comments!

cheers mac