NSW
3487 posts
This arvo, my local bomy probably had the biggest wave around on what was a pretty lacklustre day, but the occasional big'n did come through so I went out and stuck mostly to the right hander off the shoulder and let the others that are faster to their feet take the good ones. There was really only one other longboarder there and he basically had dibs on the best spot.
So there I was with a grandstand view of the king of comedy performance that was about to unfold via the agency of a slightly underdone SUP'pository pilot, and I use the euphemism “suppository” with good reason because that's what his oversized toy almost became, for either him, or several others.
When I say “oversized”, I really mean it, I sh!t you not dear reader, this beast was a behemoth, a good 12 foot maybe more, dark blue and as menacing as its intrepid paddler. It looked more like a flat-water paddler than a wave riding SUP, (if there is such a thing).
Now we had better talk a bit about this particular bomy, usually it's pretty tame; it has to be for me to go out there. But on a certain tide and in a certain few spots there's a couple of reefs or big holes that suddenly cause a fullish wave to abruptly jack up and get really sucky, into this scenario ventures our hero, believing, that for all intents and purposes he was about to get on board a big, but full, left hand shoulder. Little did he know he was perfectly poised over that sucky bit?
Now I don't know how big it was but I can tell you it rivalled his board in size because after he made a quite spectacular backwards somersault off to one side, that dirty big board spent a considerable time travelling vertically towards the beach and there was still a bit of wave left above it. And when it wasn't travelling vertically it was being whipped around to all points of the compass.
That wipeout alone would have been enough to ensure that hilarity would ensue, but the good times just kept roll'n on with a bevy shorties a-duck'n and a-dive'n all over the shop to get as much distance between them and that monster as they could. I was certain one of them was about to cop it for sure and I think he was sure as well because even from a good distance away, I'm pretty sure I could hear the distinct noise of an anal sphincter snapping shut, and I'm hearing impaired.
And still the fun refused to stop, because as we all know, waves are like bananas, they come in bunches, and the next one landed right on top of him and that big blue missile set off once more on its dance of death, clearing all asunder.
By the time I had paddled back out, there were smiles all-round and our hero was trying to prone paddle his way back out. There was no encore performance, there didn't need to be, once back to his feet he started to gradually work his way well south until he was just a speck in the distance. His work there was done.
NSW
3487 posts
you're right about one thing boofy, I didn't get too many.
I doubt I could have got much of a pic anyway, no way I could have fitted that lump of plastic into the frame.
just more of your anti-sup propaganda he was charging and you were pissed off cause you didnt get a wave
