Chair police

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ka43
ka43
NSW
3105 posts
NSW, 3105 posts
5 Oct 2006 2:22pm
Can someone shed some light on what the "chair police" are please??

I think I know and Im assuming every sailing area has some but Im very curious
nebbian
nebbian
WA
6277 posts
WA, 6277 posts
5 Oct 2006 12:50pm
Often seen at the train when the wind is below 20 knots.

Their job is to sit in a fold-up chair, and pass judgement on all who venture past. Comments include such gems as:
"You'll never get going with that sail"
"You'd better go home, it's not going to pick up"

For some reason they rig up all their gear to sit beside them and keep them company. They also don't seem to 'get' the fact that some people don't need to be planing 100% of the time to have fun
greenleader
greenleader
QLD
5283 posts
QLD, 5283 posts
5 Oct 2006 3:05pm
also fondly known as "the muppets"
md74
md74
QLD
1064 posts
QLD, 1064 posts
5 Oct 2006 3:35pm
nebbian, I think you have it wrong, they are sitting when it is below 15 knots but also above 17.25 knots, as this gets a bit hard to control.

other sayings:

"I think those clouds are holding it back"
"gee whiz, its high tide, its a bit bumpy, I think Ill wait"
"what size you got up?"
"I think those clouds are making it windy"
"I think those clouds will make it windy"
"I think those clouds will kill it"
"bloody kites"
"bloody parked boats"

any more, please add

eyeMhardcor
eyeMhardcor
255 posts
255 posts
5 Oct 2006 1:59pm
Should have been here;

"yesterday"
"an hour ago"

Gestalt
Gestalt
QLD
14968 posts
QLD, 14968 posts
5 Oct 2006 5:43pm
the comments i get from the police are.

you can't take that barge out there.
that's not a fin that's a sword.
how big is that sail?

an lots of comments about the Kernal.!
md74
md74
QLD
1064 posts
QLD, 1064 posts
5 Oct 2006 5:49pm
and to offically be a member of the chair police, you must have a watering can with you, only those whom have seen this will get it! not a bad idea though just the same, if you clean your gear that is
Gestalt
Gestalt
QLD
14968 posts
QLD, 14968 posts
5 Oct 2006 5:50pm


that's gold!

good for the environment though
md74
md74
QLD
1064 posts
QLD, 1064 posts
5 Oct 2006 5:54pm
oh by the way ka43 "the train" is a flat water sailing location on the gold coast. A local speed spot, clean water behind a sandbar, in both s/e and n/e.
mkseven
mkseven
QLD
2315 posts
QLD, 2315 posts
5 Oct 2006 6:50pm
Though in your case Gestalt they are right- you canno call it a fin when it's longer than the winged keel.

Watering can hey, hmmm good idea or even better one of those pressure sprayers- hang on who the hell washes their gear IT GETS WASHED IN THE OCEAN
greenleader
greenleader
QLD
5283 posts
Harrow
Harrow
NSW
4521 posts
NSW, 4521 posts
5 Oct 2006 10:42pm
Ha, down on Botany Bay there's a whole heap of guys who bring their own hose with spray attachment and hook it up to a tap. I was gob-smacked first time I saw it. (Then I bought my own).
mkseven
mkseven
QLD
2315 posts
QLD, 2315 posts
5 Oct 2006 10:46pm
really no wonder there is a water shortage, the only time ur gear needs washing is to rinse sand or seaweed off of it
Gestalt
Gestalt
QLD
14968 posts
QLD, 14968 posts
5 Oct 2006 11:03pm
hey mk,

it is not that long. only 70cm.

i got a hose as well. but think i will change to a bucket now. it makes so much more sense.
WINDY MILLER
WINDY MILLER
WA
3183 posts
WA, 3183 posts
5 Oct 2006 10:17pm
is there any connection with the chair police and the fun police
ka43
ka43
NSW
3105 posts
NSW, 3105 posts
6 Oct 2006 10:47am
Thanks fella's. Just as i suspected, they are everywhere these days.
We have our own version down here on Sydney's northern beaches.
The watering cans and hoses are compulsory.
Must admit I do have a hose but its for cooling down after a long hot summer days sailing. You gotta have one at Botany, no shade and bloody hot.
thecat
thecat
VIC
35 posts
VIC, 35 posts
7 Oct 2006 8:44pm
great pics greenleader, priceless...
TelecomGreg
TelecomGreg
QLD
94 posts
QLD, 94 posts
9 Oct 2006 11:53am
Yes great pics Greenleader one of them looks a bit like the Kernal

TelecomGreg
sonic
sonic
QLD
756 posts
QLD, 756 posts
14 Oct 2006 8:42am
Now ,now boys some of these guys are 60/70 years old and deserve a rest between sails....every 5 mins or so.I do know there are a few "closet" chair police.....many have been seen sitting on their tailgates of the car in the shade of the up and over door...you know who you are!
Oh and another saying and you must have shear terror in your voice

"Dont sail at shearwater or you will get sucked out of the seaway and never be seen again"

"i cannot go up wind with a weed fin"

"Bring Shannon back.. he will sort the fishermen out"

"bloody hell"!!! (The girl walking the four dogs in the Merc)Or in Marks case "all that meat and no bread"(with Yorkshire accent)

My personal favoutite "i have been planing all day until you came" knowing dam well the weather hasnt changed.

What about these strange people ripping the foam out of their car seats and sticking them up the shirt and going out like a hunch back...whats that about?

md74
md74
QLD
1064 posts
QLD, 1064 posts
14 Oct 2006 8:56am
sonic, how could we forget or forpass some of those classic lines! well done !!

and yes, if you have ever sailed at the train, secretly we are all closet chair police!

however, I do like the idea of the thermus! Ive seen one cracked out a few times, and thought geez, a cuppa would go down nice!



Harrow
Harrow
NSW
4521 posts
NSW, 4521 posts
14 Oct 2006 1:39pm
quote:
Originally posted by sonic

What about these strange people ripping the foam out of their car seats and sticking them up the shirt and going out like a hunch back...whats that about?
What the
Haircut
Haircut
QLD
6491 posts
QLD, 6491 posts
15 Oct 2006 8:07pm

it makes you go faster
decrepit
decrepit
WA
12885 posts
WA, 12885 posts
15 Oct 2006 6:28pm
No it makes you float face down when you loose consciousness!!!!
Haircut
Haircut
QLD
6491 posts
QLD, 6491 posts
15 Oct 2006 11:07pm
current gut volume + man boobies + love handles versus back padding volume = float on back
decrepit
decrepit
WA
12885 posts
WA, 12885 posts
16 Oct 2006 3:38pm
quote:
Originally posted by Haircut

current gut volume + man boobies + love handles versus back padding volume = float on back


Pay that, ''
chairman
chairman
500 posts
500 posts
17 Oct 2006 12:07pm
Good to see the prof pull up a chair again.
Hope he can keep young Sonic in line.
Gestalt
Gestalt
QLD
14968 posts
QLD, 14968 posts
17 Oct 2006 3:37pm
everytime i see the prof he's on the water.

don't tell me he traded his lightwind gear for a lounge.
jsn_batman
jsn_batman
WA
86 posts
WA, 86 posts
17 Oct 2006 3:10pm
no he traded it in for a heated lounge

that way they can defrost before going out for a sail
greenleader
greenleader
QLD
5283 posts
QLD, 5283 posts
17 Oct 2006 9:28pm
so the prof is back from his titanium hip replacements then.

hand the man some binoculars!

onya prof, and welcome mark a.k.a. "chairman" you have big boots to fill with that name!
Haircut
Haircut
QLD
6491 posts
QLD, 6491 posts
17 Oct 2006 10:06pm
chairman had an official 8 month permit to be a chairman so he don't count
sonic
sonic
QLD
756 posts
QLD, 756 posts
19 Oct 2006 9:24am
Prof hopes to be back on the water no later then Christmas...2kgs heavier with the steel hip, actually he has been giving advise from the beach...think i prefer him on the water!!
I heard a senior memeber has been giving chairs away to attract younger blood to the ranks.
Nice NE On Wednesday were was everyone?
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