It sounds like you're trying to complete all the downhaul and then pull it out.
I'm no expert, but what I've found is this...
Pull it down partially, then outhaul, then complete the downhaul. Even then you might need to "tinker" with both to get it right.
Having said that, though, if you've got a mast that doesn't have enough "bend" in it for the sail you'll never get it right.
Say this because a friend of my son who was just trying to learn bought some cheap 2nd hand gear - old sail (3-4 years) and a new but cheap mast that was very stiff. Kept on whinging about the crap sail that he
could never rig right.
He's given up and left this stuff at our place.
I've got a 2nd hand but relatively new wave mast that has plenty of "flex" - I tried it out yesterday and it rigs beautifully and goes like the clappers. So, maybe this is your problem...

hey thanks heaps silverback and simon
as silverback said i dont think my mast has enough bend to fit the sail (it is an old wave sail) right but my other crappy sail which i got as a complete rig fits sweet and i tried what you said simon "down haul, out haul and then back to down haul" bobs your uncle (i do have an uncle bob:))
anyways thanks again
see you soon simon