Dear Prospective Wave Riders,

Lesson Number 1 "What not to do by Hardie Softboy"

If and when you buy a new freeride wave board, the following is what not to do

Was out for about 90 minutes caught a couple of good waves, started to feel tired, the telltale tired mistakes started to happen, AT this POINT it is time to call it quits and go back to shore!!!

Oh no not Hardie Softboy He's special he can do anything, What got me into trouble was the psychological attitude of not listening to "when is enough, enough", When you hear the following words in your mind, think danger and bail out......."Just one more wave, just one more and I'll go back in, just one more, Oh this one looks good, one bottom turn, two bottom turns "I'm Polakow", three bottom turns "Are people on the beach watching me", lining up fourth.... "Geeze it's looking a bit shallow" , "just one more bottom turn, think of the cheering crowd..", CLONK, SCRAPE....SPLASH, OUCH THAT HURT....... FUC############### You F#@kwit, DIC#@**ad, DOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH Oh my board.... "What have I done to the nose, how am I going to get it back in without filling up the board with water..FUc#@*****************************

Lord of the IMBECILES
__________________
Hardie SoftBoy

Hardie:

When the seagulls can touch the bottom it is time to tack!!!!

I thought you knew that by now!!!

That ain't waveriding thats plowing!

Mcfly

No one seems to have had any concern for my physical welfare, the only thing I get is ridicule

Hardie SoftBoy

Cliffo,

McFly left the country, bec he knew what was good for him, you have now become my public enemy no.3. Watch your back big boy

Since no-one is going to ask about my injuries, I'll have to post them and hope some kind windsurfing soul gives me some sympathy

I got a couple of cuts and bruises, nothing too bad, I'll be requiring minor cranio-facial reconstructive surgery to patch up a few things (Greenie thought I looked ugly before the injuries) what hope have I got now Also slightly ruptured my spleen, and my right index finger will be requiring a total secong knuckle reconstruction, My right ankle has had a steel plate put in to hold the bone together, and my confidence about the fourth bottom turn is completely shattered.

Sympathy Please

Incetive to Suck-up, One free Wave Board, Wave Scalpel, 8"1', very light, seen better days, probably good first wave board, one season left in it, suit someone 70kgs or less, free for any teen you know who's interested if your a fatboy 93kg like me and Cliffo 93 kg

PS. You don't really have to suck up if you want the board, just let me know and you can either come and get it, or I'll drop it off!!

Hardie SoftBoy

Steve,

Yes only joking, no injuries other than minor scratches and bruises, don't take much of what I say seriously, an addicted pratical joker I am.

Hardie SoftBoy

I know the feeling .
I found the reef at cervantes, all on the beach were watching.
one bottom turn too many,,
lucky no scars or damaged gear,, but it was the best wave i caught ever,,