We sailboarders are responsible for Nicotine addiction world wide.

Albeit via our square rigger ancestors, though We are obliged to appologise to the world on their behalf. Seeing as their dead and the like.

I have just uncovered a long covered up piece of evidence that discloses the above attrocity, via FOI .

Unfortunately the phone tap was of poor quality, due mainly to the technology available at the time. However one side of the conversation was transcribable.

It follows:-

ring, ring,

Queen Elizabeth 1. : Hello
***
Ah Francis, how are you,
Oh good, you are on your way back from the new world.

What's that, you have a new suprise for me, marvelous what is it, gold, jewels....

Toe back oh....

what is this toe back oh?????

leaves? you what! you have 3 shiploads on their way.

Um Francis, I hate to tell you this, but this is England and it's Autumn. We have leaves lying around everywhare, why bring 3 shiploads more?

Francis! what do you expect me to do with this 3 shiploads of leaves?

EXCUSE ME, you want me to BURN IT.

So let me get this straight Francis. Your new supprise to me is to bring 3 shiploads of leaves halfway round the world, just waltze it into my castle and burn it.

Francis! I might suggest that as a climax to this extremly costly expedition of leaf gathering, we attach you to the very top of this pile of leaves......

connection is lost.

So as you see we have a lot to answer for.

And many thanks to that young whistleblower, 'Bob Newhart' for leaking the transcript.

best winds
Tony L

That's only what they want you to believe.

And besides, Sir R. wasn't a real Sailor.