I've got a couple of mates who reckon they sit down to piss all the time.

I quite often do for the first one of the day, in the middle of the night, or if I've had a couple of drinks.

But like you beagle, my preference is to piss outside standing up. Nothing as satisfying or manly as a beer in one hand, wang in the other, looking over your plot and pissing all at the same time.

Hey Beagleboy, if you're dribbling around the back yard, you really need to take half a viagra every day.
It wont do anything for your sex life but it will be enough to stop you dribbling on your boots.

cisco said..

If you are that drunk there is a risk you will fall face first into your own pizz, hang onto the clothes line or lean against the house.

Or try walk through a barbed wire fence (if in an unfamiliar backyard).

As a plumber it is my bread and butter so to speak but really I am disgusted with the whole process of 5hitting, sure it is immensely satisfying eliminating and making something but the whole process is filthy.
I can see a time in the not so distant future, perhaps even in my lifetime when a new method is developed by basically sticking a tube up your butt and having it sucked out of you, eliminating the odor, mess, TP, sewer system etc... Someday people will be disgusted at the thought of crapping into a toilet, or maybe not.... just thinking outside the box

To clarify it's having to clean up the urine vapor cloud that I most object to.
Perhaps having to deal with sewage and wastewater has made me more adverse to it, mostly it's my own that I'm most disgusted by perhaps because it doesn't pay $ to deal with it.
And actually there are two things worse than sewage, a urinal stoppage and a restaurant grease trap Urine forms mineral crystals that jam up the urinal p trap and the pipes in the wall, the urinal must almost always be removed from the wall and the crystals chipped out if possible.
Fortunately I don't do a whole lot of this type of plumbing.
You know one does get "over it" but one never truly accepts it, probably like aspects of most jobs.

Beaglebuddy said..

To clarify it's having to clean up the urine vapor cloud that I most object to.
Perhaps having to deal with sewage and wastewater has made me more adverse to it, mostly it's my own that I'm most disgusted by perhaps because it doesn't pay $ to deal with it.
And actually there are two things worse than sewage, a urinal stoppage and a restaurant grease trap Urine forms mineral crystals that jam up the urinal p trap and the pipes in the wall, the urinal must almost always be removed from the wall and the crystals chipped out if possible.
Fortunately I don't do a whole lot of this type of plumbing.
You know one does get "over it" but one never truly accepts it, probably like aspects of most jobs.

I do not mean to underrate the unpleasantness of your daily labour but have you considered the plight of a "Second Engineer" on a Navy Patrol Boat fitted with hand pump out toilets below the waterline used by 12 junior sailors or the other one used by the officers??

The dunny has a hand operated piston pump that discharges through a copper pipe about 3" in diameter. Over the years of use the pipe gets reduced in diameter by the build up of calcium/lime in the pipe from various grades of urine. When it starts to get clogged the user will apply maximum force to pump it through.

This of course ensures the dunny gets well and truly clogged. When that happens, does the offender own up to it?? No Way!!!

Then there is the case of the officer who brings his female companion aboard for a night of ribaldry and the female companion claims a need to visit the "little girls room" so as to prepare for the aforementioned ribaldry. What the dirty bitch is doing is removing her fanny rag and trying to dump it into the dunny of which she has no idea how to operate.

The revenge is when the clogged piece of pipe is removed the next day, taken onto the wharf and a fire hose applied which ejects the offending blood stained cotton wad to the cheers of the crew watching to see which officer's face goes red.

When it is known who went in on the red, he don't get respect any more. You have got to have standards.

If the fire hose wont clear it there is only one solution and that is to take the clogged pipe to the workshop and burn it out with the oxy torch. That makes a really bad stink.

When the workshop boys see you coming with a dunny pipe, they wheel the oxy set out to the footpath for you. Normally they do nothing to help the boat crews though that is their function.

Spare a thought for the second engineer. He and the first are the only ones qualified to do the job but the first is not going to do it if he has a second is he??

So Beagle Buddy (I used to read the Beagle Boys in the comics), you need to either toughen up and charge more money for putting your hands in other people's shizz, or find some other shizz to put your hands into.

I worked Real Estate and now it works for me.