heart burn hope this beer gets rid of it.

The word: shizzle

Is it just me, or do middle-aged women push in line, a lot?

Smokers who stand just outside the door and smoke. Not only does that crap blow in the door, but everyone who enters or leaves the building gets contaminated with the smell.

If I stood at the door and sprayed a small amount of diluted dog crap on myself and everyone who walked in or out I'd be pretty unpopular, and would be moved on very quickly.

How come it's apparently okay for smokers to do much the same thing?

How about the clowns who step onto an escalator and then stop walking in front of you?

Losing the use of legs - then they get fat and in your way everywhere!

How about the clowns who step off an escalator and then stop walking in front of you?

colinwill78 said...

my partners sex drive

If she is too much to handle then put an ad on here

yeah i try too

Bvllsh!t made up emails made by brainless dopes

EG: the one that did the rounds with a pic of a guy who was savaged by a bear in his tent. Horrible injuries on his back and his head opened up like a dropped tomato. But then some d!ck decided to add another pic of a hole thru an achilles tendon. That pic was an unrelated gunshot wound to a bloke's ankle but they felt the need to add it to the bear one before forwarding it. Anyone who is familiar with gunshot wounds would immediately note the powder burns, and anyone who has seen a bear will note they do not carry oversized apple corers.

EG2: the gas explosion pics on this forum. No insult to choco as he probably got it from somebody else .... but the very first person who saw that would have known it was a ruptured pipe but they chose to email it all around saying it was caused by a tradie who didn't dial before he dug.

I've had others but can't think of them right now...

surfingboye said...

when the phone rings and you have to like run to answer it, like if your on the toilet or something. and then you just get it and its some stupid call center person.

no i dont want your crappy phone offers.
no i dont want to buy your holiday vouchers.

p1ss the hell off.

just tell them your a burgular and ur only here to rob the house...


An even better use of "reply paid" envelopes from the junk
mail people - wrap up two house bricks and paste the reply
paid envelope to the package - you will not get any more
junk mail from that company !!!!!

I know it works from experience.

for computer junkmail.
forward ur spam junkmail to other spam junkmail somthn will eventually give

Sentences that contain homophones which are used incorrectly!

pooman said...
maybe....the train!!??

I'm down with stopping, albeit a bit lazy, but if you stop keep left ffs

That one caught me out on a visit to Sydney - we don't have that social convention here, and I made the mistake of stopping on the right hand side of an escalator (next to my wife) at the train station. Took me a couple of seconds to figure out that everyone behind me was giving me the evils, and that I needed to either keep walking, or find an empty step and slot in to the left side.

A bit awkward when you're trying to drag a big, heavy suitcase up half an escalator while being pursued by an angry mob!

Bloody tourists.. I know..

j murray said...
we dont have anythink like that here

People who say Anythink

Fat f*cks feeling sorry for themselves....."why am i so fat...its not my fault"

Yes it is you fat **** put the burgerrrrr down

Blokes that have chicks names like Casey.