Weight!
I mean Wait!
I have a really good idea!
Throw the lot down the dump and get a WINDSURFER!

Yes.. Down the dump!

You wouldn't want to pass on all that misery to some other poor unsuspecting person would you?

A windsurfer will make you happy and keep you trim, taut and terrific, even when you're old and Grumpled and Decrepit and,.. yeah,.. all of that.