Like when your mate orders food for your hotel room to piss u off.


Dockers rang up and ordered coke and strippers for the Swans’ rooms.


don’t ask my source.

I dunno what the world is coming to.

If what is being reported is true and somebody slapped somebody else's arse four times, not the previously agreed three times in clear breach of the slapper's contract well...it is just another example of the moral descent of the youth of today.

In my time it was well known etiquette that you only slap a hooker's arse a maximum of three times when snorting coke from her crack.

The old addage still rings as true today as it ever did - once is fine, twice for the line, thrice is nice but four is dour.

OmarShamgar said..
It's a storm in a gimlet.

That doesn't seem to make any sense. On so many levels.

Just FYI - if you want a witty pun on the subject I feel it would need to include both some play on the swan theme and the sexual innuendo theme.

So you might start with "Swans ?... more like gooses having a gander", but I don't think that would meet the high standards of wit on these forums.

So perhaps try winging it with some pond-erance of the ineptitude displayed by swans on ice, or the simple fact that ducks are less graceful than swans. Anything like that would have been swanderful.

But at the same time you can't go ruffling any feathers or you will get another red card, so don't stick your neck out too far and be bill-igerant.

Perhaps try something on the "what is red and white and ...." by combining the themes of the team uniform and a slapped arse covered in cocaine ?

Anyways...good luck with your endeavors.

Carantoc said..


That doesn't seem to make any sense. On so many levels.

Just FYI - if you want a witty pun on the subject I feel it would need to include both some play on the swan theme and the sexual innuendo theme.

So you might start with "Swans ?... more like gooses having a gander", but I don't think that would meet the high standards of wit on these forums.

So perhaps try winging it with some pond-erance of the ineptitude displayed by swans on ice, or the simple fact that ducks are less graceful than swans. Anything like that would have been swanderful.

But at the same time you can't go ruffling any feathers or you will get another red card, so don't stick your neck out too far and be bill-igerant.

Perhaps try something on the "what is red and white and ...." by combining the themes of the team uniform and a slapped arse covered in cocaine ?

Anyways...good luck with your endeavors.

I thought it was obvious that a gimlet is used by carpenters to make a cup shape in wood.

Are you aware that the Sydney players claimed to be carpenters?

I'm new here, but I now know about tools.

OmarShamgar said..
I'm new here, but I now know about tools.

Not to be a persistent pedant - but I beg to differ, on all three points.

Although at least that is a slight improvement in wit on the original "it's a storm in a gimlet'.

Hence, I will punch this information into this forum once again - neither 'storm' nor 'gimlet' seem to make sense.

If you were trying to downplay the seriousness of allegations of sexual assault whilst mocking the alleged allegation somebody who played football for the Sydney Swans claimed to be a carpenter whilst snorting coke from a hooker's arse, I fail to see any double, let alone triple, entendre in the words.

Presumably the base of your statement is the well known phrase 'storm in a tea-cup' and it was an attempt to adapt that phrase, in a comical way, to suit the situation (albeit with blind disregard to the seriousness of the events and the physical and emotional wellbeing of the victims).

In which case I feel you would need to change both the 'storm' and 'tea-cup' to suit the situation, creating at least double but preferably many multiple interpretations for them, both individually and collectively.

I am not here to spoon feed everyone punchlines, but perhaps using a word such as 'flap' to replace 'storm' with the side reference to swans wings and a carpenter's tool that could either replace a tea-cup or the name of which had some phonetic similarity to something in the story - perhaps the name of the hotel chain or one of the persons involved, perhaps a sexual inuendo or even a reference to illicit drug consumption.

For somebody who may have frequented these forums before I feel that all the tools have been provide to create a witty retort on the topic myscreenname has nicely set-up for us, but the craftsmanship in your response was of .... well, lets just say it was more than just low quality.....

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Carantoc said..
If you were trying to downplay the seriousness of allegations of sexual assault whilst mocking the alleged allegation somebody who played football for the Sydney Swans claimed to be a carpenter whilst snorting coke from a hooker's arse, I fail to see any double, let alone triple, entendre in the words.

Carantoc said..
I dunno what the world is coming to. If what is being reported is true and somebody slapped somebody else's arse four times, not the previously agreed three times in clear breach of the slapper's contract well...it is just another example of the moral descent of the youth of today. In my time it was well known etiquette that you only slap a hooker's arse a maximum of three times when snorting coke from her crack. The old addage still rings as true today as it ever did - once is fine, twice for the line, thrice is nice but four is dour.

The word you are looking for is "adage".

Your attempt at rhyming humour with four/dour is an abject failure, unless you are Scottish.

I thought Carantoc was... busy, busy, busy.