Yep, bored

.....After having successfully hidden in the folds of time, courtesy of Decrepits Improbability drive slippers, the Boy Wonder (ELMO www.seabreeze.com.au/gallery/gallery.asp?imageid=5735) streaked back to earth and proceeded to blitz the waters of the Mandurah Estuary.

It seemed the sneaky bugger had been taking secret speed sailing lessons on the eternally windy planet of ExplosivFartWind.

He'd also learnt that by wearing green tights, a yellow cape and stitching a large R to his wetsuit he would be able to blitz the sore loser Hardie, thrashing his personal best by a good two or three seconds.

Having previously damaged his rivals sails, by rigging the wrong size mast, just what other dastardly deeds could the Boy Wonder perform ......

Choda Boy to the rescue

www.seabreeze.com.au/gallery/gallery.asp?imageid=5745&shownew=on

Elmo's on the left right

What a hunka hunka burning???

I want to give the Mandurah Estuary a go where abouts do you go and how do you get to the spot

And the wind direction Elmo, don't forget winddirection!

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Originally posted by hardie

.......Yes the boy wonder would do anything to keep his title as the fastest in the Mandurak Esturine Galaxy........ Hardie having found a spot where he was competitive with the "boy wonder", soon found that the bw had organised to have the "secret spot" fenced off by CALM, leaving the trecherous waters of the Novara Asteroid Belt where Hardie was known to have whimped on moderately windy days, as the only decent sailing spot left in the Milky WA

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Here kity kity kity

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Originally posted by hardie

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Originally posted by elmo
[
Here kity kity kity

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And the boy wonder didn't mind rubbing it in either

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Hardie did however have a secret plan ... muwhahahahaha

A top secret training camp, hidden away in the far northern reaches of his home state.
Here he would practice the ancient art of super fast alpha turns, assisted by pristine, clean wave faces.
Also late afternoon speed sessions on the super flat inside sections of the "crowning glory" of locations.
This training, would see hardie come back refreshed and ready to blitz the boy wonder, along with the fact that his new mast should have arrived

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How could he shed the excess kilos that his phenominlly large penis was creating without upsetting the myriad of international starlets who worshipped this appliance....?

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Then it came to him in a flash of brilliance.

By forcing his appendage into a Mal Wright Time Machine speed fin mould and injecting it with resin, Hardie would always have the perfect fin at his disposal.

Now how to adjust his stance so he could hold the rig and drag his "fin" at the same time .......

Unfortunately Hardies 6 Pack was purchased as a slab of 6 packs

Hardie needed a change of tack, the rate of suicide by good looking girls between the age s of 19 and 21 spiraled out of control when the news of Hardies interest in speed sailing had taken him away from these regular persuits.

Fearing retribution from governments, angry fathers, disillusioned young men and adult video production groups Hardie felt it better to escape from the suburban ho hum of Mandurah and live on a windy deserted island where he could snip away at his shlong and improve his technique

However it was not going to go as smoothly as planned.

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Originally posted by decrepit

Hardie realised it wasn't the weight of his member it was it's placement. If all that weight was highjer up, it would actually improve his speed, and he'd be able to beat the famous Elmo.
Googling, he found a plastic surgeon willing to do the hephalump procedure! Just a simple matter of swapping nose and (what did relly call it, oh yeah) shlong.

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This caused Hardie quite a problem as previously hygiene had never been a major concern.

But now he had his nose in his budgie smugglers it was becoming a major issue, non so much as when he let fluffy of the chain in his wettie.

........Yes Hardie did need a daily transfusion of Anti-biotics to fight the billions of STI bacteria viruses accumulated over the years of servicing the wet ones........However, this did not stop him scheming from beating the boy wonder...... Whom he had grown to hate over the years of inferior speed humiliation

Little did Hardie know that the virus that was deeply engrained in his loins was mutating into a rare strain of the horse flu.

The side effect of this was that his loins now began to swell and as a result it effected his abiltiy to sail fast so he started think he might to begin a new career servicing the big girls of the universe.

In Private moments on his own Hardie liked this idear as deep down he was afraid that he could not live up to the reputation he had as a gun speed sailor and that there were too many underlings snapping at his heels where as with servicng big butted girls he knew he would have no competition

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Originally posted by decrepit

Hardie realised it wasn't the weight of his member it was it's placement. If all that weight was highjer up, it would actually improve his speed, and he'd be able to beat the famous Elmo.
Googling, he found a plastic surgeon willing to do the hephalump procedure! Just a simple matter of swapping nose and (what did relly call it, oh yeah) shlong.

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The other MAJOR drawback which came with this proceedure was soon found one day when Hardy finding a rare moment of speed, blitzed past a woefully slow Elmo.

Hardy getting all excited at the thought of finally being about finally being able to go home the victor forgot about the effects of his excitement.

Hardies Shlong now firmly attached to his face was growing to gargantuan proportions.

This not only severly obstructed his vission but also caused some major wind resistance issues, slowing his speed once again enough to let Elmo breeze on by.

If only he could attach a sail to it..

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Originally posted by Bender

Now Elmo noticed the problems that hardie was having and put their differences aside and offered to help hardie with his sail rigging in order to improve his speed.

Little did Hardie know that he had fallen into Elmo's trap and instead of Elmo helping him with his sail he managed to break it!!

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The pain of that moment still burns deeply within is psyche

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Originally posted by elmo

burn baby burn

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Ooooh that must hurt[}:)][}:)]

Gee the puppet can be cruel!!!![}:)][}:)]

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Originally posted by Bender

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Originally posted by elmo

burn baby burn

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Ooooh that must hurt[}:)][}:)]

Gee the puppet can be cruel!!!![}:)][}:)]

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All I'm lacking is the Horns and tail