Hardie, hardie, hardie.

Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting, I am surprised that it has taken until at least one of your kids is in his teens before you realised just what a painful experience they really are.

In case you weren't aware, kids are our parents final laugh at us, the big punishment that they bestow on us for all the grief we gave them.

I'll bet your parents never told you about the "real" joys of kids until after you had had them. Then they come up with the gems like "Yeah, you were always a ratbag as a kid" and "I remember the time when..." when of course you felt like you had been the best child anyone could have asked for.

The worst thing is that the little buggers never go away, even when they have left home you worry about, are they driving too fast, are they taking drugs, have they got a job....jeeezuz I'm depressing myself.

I'm not usually one for poetry, but the stuff below pretty well sums up kids of today.

My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough, to put me in my place.

Guess what I learned in High School, that's taught by Mr.Wright?
It's all about the laws today, The "Children's Bill of Rights."

It says I need not clean my room, don't have to cut my hair.

No one can tell me what to think, or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion, and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head, and I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want, and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like, get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever smack me, I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges, with the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me, my body's only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses, that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals, like your Mum did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control, And it's illegal too!

Mum, I have these children's rights, so you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division, better known as C.S.D.

Of course my first instinct was To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face, he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping at the local Discount Store.
I told him, "Pick out all you want, there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D. who said they didn't care
if I bought you K-Mart shoes instead of those Nike Airs.

I've cancelled that appointment to take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned so I'll decide what's best.

I said "No time to stop and eat, or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own school lunch.

Just save the raging appetite, and wait till dinner time.
We're having lambs fry & onions A favorite of mine!

He asked "Can I please rent a movie, to watch on my VCR?
"Sorry, but I sold your TV, for new tyres on my car.

I also rented out your room, you'll take the lounge instead.
The C.S.D. requires just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now, I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get, will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski, dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the "Parents' Bill of Rights," It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying, why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out, instead of C.S.D..?

i just want to say that i love my 2 1/2 year old daughter who causes and brings out emotions from one extreme to the other which i never knew i had and now i have to do it all over again in july when my wife gives birth to my son

Parenting oscillates between being a Cruel Joke and The Meaning Of Life.

..Lozza

Arh a topic that transends age gap, race, creed, friend or Fo and even windsurfers vers kiters...

I can only draw from the three years of parenting that I have with my Daughter, and now my wife and I have welcome'd another daughter three weeks ago.

I too find it's an great excuse to be a kid again. On visits to kid's Paradice or the Beach House in Scarbs, you will find my daughter and I running around the climbing frames and bouncy castle going nuts, I love it!

I always find an excuse to buy her all the beach toys I lay my eyes on...

I agree with Hardy... My daughters both get showered in affection from us both. The oldest one is telling me to stop it also, I feel your pain mate... The golden moments are when they come up to you totally unexpected and tell you they love you... Priceless !

regards browneee

forget the boss elmo get your wife into it

Yep she is THE only boss

The other one just pays the bills.

Still wish I could get her sailing though, the whole family out there with us would be way cool