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Originally posted by Bender

Nothing but nothing beats the stealth fart that one gets away with at work, supermarkets and best 0f all in elevators.

I pride myself in the delivery, just carry on as if you cannot detect anything while everyone around you suffers and chokes.

It takes skill and dedication to keep a straight face but it is worth it if nobody thinks it is you and they start blaming others while you calmly carry on your way

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Even better

Next time you've got some mad bombers going which can melt paint, walk up to a group of your mates and sneakily let it go.

wait a bit, stay there....


Then ask the best question you'll ever ask

Can you smell Petrol?? (or something burning)

This question is the only one guaranteed to get everyone you ask to deliberately take a good lungful if it through the nose.

I would suggest scarpering once they realize what you have just done to them

Can I call it a Weapon of Mass Destruction or perhaps a Terrorist Device, the fart I did on the bus on the way to Ellis Park to watch South Africa v. Australia with only one other Australian on it? Silent, small amount of gas (released in a fraction of a second) but absolutely lethal. There have been a couple over the years, these are the ones that are so horribly horribly wrong they can clear a room, to say the least. I have caused someone to vomit with one once.