"With all the misery in the world, how can we not get drunk?"

my bro just sent me a help sms message this p.m. but i decided to weigh things and say no..i was in the same boat eons ago and after all his compiled messages i told him ''takes me mos. to reap what you get in a week, got mouths to feed, if only you used it sparingly it should keep you comfy the next 5-6mos." his last reply was 'don't ever try to contact me in any other way or help me so as not to let me down, what a messed up ****ed up family we got'-referring to our immediate family not minei got so guilty i phoned my uncle to see how much he lent since i knew did and to my surprise just from last monday till today a total of 2,500$ from different related people and all he wanted from me was a measly 60$ but having a gift of gab and very good at it..me, sis, lil' brother and dad are bored of being told 'guess who got victimized!' he is so good at giving sad stories a cabbie once lent him a day's income..i've crossed paths with people he owes and to be amazed that they lent in the thousands including salons, doctors, etc.....I guess you get the picture now, was down the whole afternoon after finally getting in touch with my brother after more than a yr. of looking for him and getting this crap afterwardsi've been there and understand how not to be involved emotionally but today was funny when i was walking the aisle a bit frustrated while doing groceries was thinkin' "boy am i lucky i could buy sweets for lil' mia, a b-day gift for wifey, bring them to beach with board,sail and kite and still manage to check you farts in the seabreeze forums in my off times....hope the 'fart' was used in good humour

You're right, farts are funny, amongst other things. Perhaps you could inaugurate a competition - a FART PREMIERSHIP. Farts could be assessed in different disciplines. The winner with the most points in all disciplines would be the PFA World Champion and it would be tattooed on his forehead as a warning.

Some possible disciplines could be:
Farting for noise - Loudest wins.
Farting for energy - Biggest flame wins.
Farting for power - Assessed with a wind driven craft propulsion system, or levitation.
Farting for distance - How far can you throw a cork.
Farting for noxiousness - Room clearing speed assessed, or number of canaries killed.
Freestyle farting - Only limited by your imagination.

Suitably indemnified competitors would all fill up on beer n beans n cabbage. What a party. That's my idea of FUN. You could televise it - reality tv at its best.

I had a sail today. Just like to share the vibe.

How about a drink for the 100th post?

Yep, you can have a drink, I'm having 5 drinks cause I got 500 earlier.
Well actually, onto second bottle of red, so more than 5. But have sailed for past 2 days, and more seabreezes forecast for rest of week, and don't have to work. And yesterday cracked 90% of gybes, today 95%, including 100% from port to starboard, even went into them knowing I'd come out allright, even got to plane out of about 25% of them. STOKED!
Burp.

Richiefish said...

Whats with these topics??? poison, last words, how to die, F@#k this f@3k that...Everybody likes to get wind. thats why farts are so funny.

I've often wondered about that. Why on earth are farts funny?
It's one of those eternal unanswered questions.
Even small children find them funny so I came to the conclusion that it was genetically wired and comes from the long ago past before language was invented.
In those days we just sat around the camp fire amusing each other with our farts.
(Geez! Things haven't changed much have they. I recall doing just that on some camping trips. Oh dear! )

LMAO Blazing Saddles was a crack up..I am all for the stealth Fart and have been recognized as an expert at clearing an area

best "stealth" farting experience ever last week went to take a look at the Gorges at Kalbarri which are flowing, nice views and a few safe places to swim (near the z-bend lookout)

swim 2-3 m upstream of the missus and friends, start dropping them and watch thier faces as they bubble up right under thier noses -

pure genius calculating the right spot to drop them, and dare I say classiest moment ever........

Greenroom said...

I like boobies

Second that.

Now i know why i threwup at that barby in hobart. heavy air settles!!!