One of my mates told me a story the other day. Thought i might share it. While shopping at Bunnings with his wife to be he asked one of the (switched on) staff members to recommend some glue so he could stick down his kite board binding that had come loose. The staff member suggested liquid nails which we all know won't work.
Anyway his misses replied will we need a special hammer for that.

no a left handed screwdriver

should have asked the staff member,

"where can i find a long weight?"

or a tin of chequered paint.