Was at the local today and watched a newbie backpacker launch his 2005ish North Rhino and then 5minutes later release his kite and start swimming back to shore......

by the time he got back up to where we were all standing we ask if he is ok, and his responce 'do you think the surf guys will get my kite'......

NOTE TO ALL NEWBIES - PRE 2010 KITES ARE BAD NEWS INC 99c KITES ON EBAY http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/Wipika-Free-Air-Kite-Surfer-/271223882038?pt=AU_Sport_Surfing&hash=item3f26340136

What is the worst kite you have seen a newbie on???

ashkiter said..

Was at the local today and watched a newbie backpacker launch his 2005ish North Rhino and then 5minutes later release his kite and start swimming back to shore......

by the time he got back up to where we were all standing we ask if he is ok, and his responce 'do you think the surf guys will get my kite'......

NOTE TO ALL NEWBIES - PRE 2010 KITES ARE BAD NEWS INC 99c KITES ON EBAY http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/Wipika-Free-Air-Kite-Surfer-/271223882038?pt=AU_Sport_Surfing&hash=item3f26340136

What is the worst kite you have seen a newbie on???

At least on that link they guy 1. sets realistic price and 2. says the bar is dangerous. There's a chance he wouldn't sell to a noob.

The last one about 2 months ago, a 2 line wipika went for $250 odd and the guy said "perfect learners kite". I and an number of others reported the listing to ebay, but it didn't get pulled.

I had a thread here about 6-9 months ago, sprung a coupla guys down at Brighton QLD with an early North 18m (1st or 2nd year of North, Toro?) with a 2 line bar. 4 line kite and they only had the fronts connected. No steering at all, 18m kite! They were easy to pick, for a start the dude trying to fly it had a weighlifting kidney belt and some rope tied to fixed loop of primitive bar. Also kite was way under pumped, folding in 4 parts on ground. Also, they were walking all over it while trying to launch!

ashkiter said..


What is the worst kite you have seen a newbie on??? [/b]

When I was learning one of the shops on here sold me this thing called a Wipika, they saids it was perfect to learn on. It only had two lines and this made it super easy to rig up

Chris_M said..

Once at St Kilda I was instructing and see a guy setting up a Naish ARX. He didnt look like he knew what he was doing, so put the lesson on hold, and went over to scope out the situation. Turns out he was a newb, and thought this would be perfect to learn on.....

Anyhoo, I cautioned him, then just to prove its lethal-ness of his kite got him to launch me then showed him how over powered I was, and how the kite lacked any form of depower, was unsafe etc etc.....

I go back with student and resume lesson.

Meanwhile, guy looks like he is considering flying the thing, despite my warning, and Im thinking holy **. Then a transvestite walking a big mongrel of a dog comes past, and no **, the dog just starts bounding all over the guys kite, tearing massive holes in the canopy with his paws.

Ive never seen anything like it, alomst like the dog knew he was doing this guy a favour! Funniest thing I have seen in ages

Hahahahaha! ha. That's some crazy form of Karma!,,,, hhheehehehe. The old transvestite with a monster dog tearing your kite up trick!!! classic

Ps here about the latest drug that helps depressed lesbians?

its called "trycoxagain"

juicerider said..

ashkiter said..


What is the worst kite you have seen a newbie on???

When I was learning one of the shops on here sold me this thing called a Wipika, they saids it was perfect to learn on. It only had two lines and this made it super easy to rig up

Sounds pretty similar to me except choicy and crew had trashed it learning over the summer before I bought it. I snapped the lines probably a dozen times until it decintegrated on impact on my way offshore down ningaloo. It would of been nice if it had some instructions since all I knew was from a picture in tracks and a 10 minute call to john. Mind you I was glad to get a harness sent up only after I had worked it out.
I wouldn't set someone up like this nowadays although back then I was happy to give my now wife a go.(she has never touched a kite again, even helping to launch and land will cause some pretty bad language)

lotofwind said..

I think the only solution to newbies trying to launch old dangerous kites is,
To have ALL beaches patrolled by transvestites with large dogs. Its the only reasonable solution.

Plummet said..

Olliefly said..

lotofwind said..

I think the only solution to newbies trying to launch old dangerous kites is,
To have ALL beaches patrolled by transvestites with large dogs. Its the only reasonable solution.

Surely the solution is worse than the problem!!!....

Why can't we go back to the good old days of natural selection?

Let the stupid people remove themselves from the gene pool. Then there will be no need for kite eating transvestite dogs.

Yeah but in oz, we cant let natural selection function, we actually think there should be a rule aginst such occurrence in future, so we all suffer. If they saw us now, the Anzacs would be pissed.

lotofwind said..

I think the only solution to newbies trying to launch old dangerous kites is,
To have ALL beaches patrolled by transvestites with large dogs. Its the only reasonable solution.

Mark_australia is gonna be one busy she boy

I’m a little confused, at what point did the “big mongrel of a dog” being walked by a transvestite become a “kite eating transvestite dog” ?

And if the dog was a “depressed lesbian” just how would “trycoxagain" be administered ?

My guess the kites on the beach would be eaten first............ unless the "depressed lesbian transvestite dog is patrolling the beach hopped up on trycoxagain" was as high as a kite....... about 24 to 27 meters high

lotofwind said...
^^^^Is your avatar pic the transvestite dog in question??

The smile does look like the dog on question!!!!

‘Trycoxagain’ is a drug used if surgery is not required, as the op "slipadicktome" can get quite hard.

Peterc150 said..

2006 Crossbows had 100% depower and were suitable for beginners (my first kite). You can't set a specific year for the availability of "safer kites", it depends on the manufacturer and kite model.

Agreed - but how many 2006 crossbows are being sold in good enough nick for a beginner?

As we are talking about people who are too dumb/lazy to find out the dangers before they buy, I wouldn't trust them to check the lines/bar/canopy properly.

I would say 2010 a good rule of thumb for a cut off date - at least there is a reasonable 2nd hand market in <3 year old, well maintained kites.

ah yes the HQ with the mechanical clutch that would always stick passing into second and generally as you were crossing a busy intersection in peak hour!

16M Caution Kite in small local park surrounded by trees with families directly downwind. On my way shopping I see a guy with his girlfriend trying to throw it up directly downwind of him. Luckily the wind is 8-10 knots. I pull over. He has had no lessons and bought the kite online with no research. Thought the park would be safer than the ocean! I explain the dangers of downwind launches, the wind window, how to launch with a helper, and strongly strongly recommend he go to a beach, get a lesson. He ignores me. As I walk to my car I see his girlfriend launch it. He narrowly avoids launching the kite into a tree - which ultimately probably would have been a good thing - then gets its up. It drops from 12 cause there is not enough wind, then hits the window or a gust and powers up. Of course he is resisting the pull and pulls in on the bar. Suddenly he is two-three metres in the air flying downwind towards the families and more trees. He plummets out of the sky feet first - no pancake here (broken ankles anyone?) - then becomes a ball of uselessness getting dragged along the ground. Kite goes into the tree and gets shredded. Best possible outcome.

Oh yeah. And if I am giving anyone advice they must be in trouble. LOl