Q. How many men does it take to open a beer?
A. None, it should be open when she brings it to you

Q. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in??
A. The dog! Because at least when you let the dog in it'l shut up.

Three irish dwafts decide to go into the Guiness Book of Records.
They arrive at the front door and the first one says to his 2 mates "Iv got the smallest hands in the world" with that he walks through the door, coming out 10minutes later with a certificate 'Worlds Smallest Hands'.

The second dwaft goes in stating he has "The smallest ears in the world" 10 minutes later out he comes with his certificate 'World Smallest Ears'

The third walks up to the door stating "I have the smallest penis in the world", 10 min later no show,20 min later no show, half hour later out walks the little dwaft crying and heartbroken with no certificate. "Whats the matter" ask the other two. he replies "Who the F*#k is RAL INN".

I am uterly speachless, I am without speach.

Just count your lucky stars I didn't give you guys the address of that place.


Irish Parachute?

opens on impact.

Italian WW2 tank gears.
1 forward, 99 reverse.

standard equipment for an italian soldier in ww2.
white flag and a good pair of runners.

Irish Kamikaze pilot.
36 successful missions.

Why does it take 3 women with PMS to cahnge a light bulb?

IT JUST F**KN DOES.