Excuse me if this takes a little while but I needed to explain my dilemma to people:

I was walking around St Kilda beach front when I find this lamp on the ground. It seems like a nice lamp but it's a little rusty so I rub it and suddenly there is a puff of smoke and this genie appears and he says to me, I'm the genie of the lamp, you have 3 wishes.

Something like this has never happened to me, so being unselfish kind of person that I am, the first thing I wish for is and end to war and hunger and the genie says "your wish is granted, the whole world is now at peace and no one will be hungry". I don't really feel hungry and I haven't eaten in 2 hours so I figure its working. The second thing I want is a never ending seabreeze in Melbourne, so I ask for a seabreeze to occur every day between 3 and 8pm of 20-25 knots, and he says "your wish is granted, there will be a seabreeze every day in Melbourne".

The last thing I wish for is an endless credit card where I can buy stuff and my bank account just refills itself because I figure if I find needy people I can buy them food and stuff. I think this is cool, so I walk into Kite Republic and I buy some kite gear on my credit card. I'm not greedy so I only buy 1 kites instead of 5, and I don't even buy the latest models, I get 2017 models so I don't jinx this wish.

As I am walking out, I decide I better check my mobile banking to see how it works (like does he just put a million in at a time, or is my balance infinity) and then I realise the money has come off my account and there is no extra money so the genie hasn't done anything.

So I turn around to find the genie and he's tells me he is just a political genie, and he promises stuff but it doesn't actually get delivered. So I check the news and there isn't world peace, and I see people are still hungry and I realised that the genie was a lying scumbug who just wanted to get out of the lamp.

So I go home and the problem now is my wife doesn't believe me about the genie and the lamp, and I have new kiting gear but it looks like I'm the bad person rather than the innocent victim in this scam, and my wife is pissed at me.