Ode to a Jet-Ski person


Jet-ski person, selfish fink.
May your silly jet-ski sink.
May you hit a pile of rocks,
Oh hoonish summer coastal pox

Noisy smoking dickhead fool,
On your loathsome leisure tool,
Give us all a jolly lark
And sink beside a hungry shark

Scream as in it’s fangs you go
Your last attention-seeking show
While on the beach we all join in
With “three cheers for the dorsal fin”


Michael Leunig

hey fitzy - if the hat fits - then wear it

Woohoo, i love our yammy fx160. We kick everyones butt when going to the pin = more kiting time. It's great for lessons. Super fast resuce craft, especially at the pin. Tow-in surfing when it's big!!!!
I used to hate them until i realized how useful they can be. Kicks butt over any boat we've eva owned.
I do howeva still dislike they people that smash around in flat water and waves for no reason other than pi***ng peolpe off.

Cheers Angie

they'd be a whole lot more tollerable if it weren't for the noise and the k'n stink!

Saving windsufers? You mean by giving them a kite

i'm with leunig!

Zodiacs are a good boat, plus if u mount a machine gun on the roof u become a navy seal. (I am refering to the fact that they are used as a navy boarding vessel not the fact that they should be used to shoot jetskiiers!)

I believe he is talking about those annoying jetskiers who risk our lives through dangerous riding, stupidity and lack of skill. Anyone can get on a jetski and ride on the water, it takes skill to kitesurf, surf, windsurf or skipper a boat through the bar. Its through aquiring that skill one learns to respect the water and fellow users, learning safety the hard way (by getting slammed). I doubt anyone here would get annoyed if Laird Hammilton was jetskiing near them, but if an arrogant fuxstick who doesnt know the rules of the waterways and puts my life and your life in danger you would be pissed off too. Unfortunatly a LOT of jetskiiers are in this catagory. We have inexperienced overconfident waterway users risking other peoples lives.

Its all well and good to preach the heroism of a jetskiier but I gaurantee you these inexperienced users have harmed more people through accidents then they have saved.

The fact that they are a noisy machine which disturbs everyone elses peace also bothers me. I doubt you will see an experienced jetski pilot annoying you or me by riding in the flat water on the river where there are kids and families but I gaurantee you will see the other 9/10ths of the INexperienced waterway users(usually the mates or family of the owner of the jetski) there.

I have never had a kite disturb my tranquility, and I bet ther 99.9% of the community would prefer to sit with thier family and watch a kitesurfer preform their art rather then a jetskiier buzzing around in circles.

all sports have dick heads, hoons, brats, braggers ect but to stereotype an activity on the actions of a few makes you a very arrogant/blind/stupid person.
when was the last time a bystander was scared of loosing their head from a chauvinistic jet skier.
when we (the family) used to walk up Leighton beach with the dog kites looked as though they were coming straight at us. since then i learnt to kite and dont find it "a scary experience" but im sure the rest of the people on the beach do.

i can take it as personally as i want cus its an underlying problem with kitesurfing-the guy who got lofted into power lines pretty much set us up to be banned.
btw, i dont like "hoon jet skiers" but the responsible ones dont deserve the blanket definition.

you can get quite ones but for some reason people dont like them
the top of the line family jet ski from sea doo is suppost to be quite