Given the explosion of new parents we've seen in perth this past year (must be something in the water ) I thought I might share with you all this bit of card wisdom from my own; now bigger than me; 'little'n' this dads day. An indication of whats to come once they stop poopin their pants & keeping you up all night.
"There are 2 things we should give our children. One is Roots and the other is Wings"
This along with an message inside that'd make you cry.
KIDS ROCK.
Happy dads day - to all you noobs

I get to see my dad next Sept, mum says 'that the bastard gets out after 6 years' mum reckons hes gota wear an ankle device and not allowed any contact with animals and torture devices. Mum also said that the police will come once a month and check our computer.

My brother married my step sister, and has never had a job but bought a beaut caravan for $200.He lasted 34days without a shower once.

My two sisters now live with uncle Gary, they said hes 'all man' and plan to have children soon, my older sis still has no teeth.

Autie Edna said that she may have finally got rid of her scratching disease and all the sores and ulsers hav nearly healed up,Her hair fell out due to poor hygyne.

My half brother lives in W.A (but thats too embarrasing so we dont talk about him).

the worst STD of all, children. remember to wear protection people

I think ur on my mums side,which was on my dads side years ago(but thats anutha story) she still has photos of you when you were in the guiness book of w-records for that enlarged prostate and genitalia.

Nan said to say hello and would like to bath u again she said, Nan still leaves a yellow stain on the seat when she sits down for a while.

Your second cousins are still joined at the head but says its worth it, caus you can save heaps at the movies.

Your name isnt that good around here! caus Pop says you found love outside the family. Pop says 'Wots happens in the family, stays in the family'.

If your parents never had children it's likely you won't either .

I'm proud to say....
No one in my family has ever had sexual relations with family members.

Whys everyone shaking their head disapprovingly at the screen