Hello brothers,
Would you be so kind to share your ideas how you managed to convince your wifes to get them on board.

Here it just doesn't work, it is a bit boring to always go out by myself..

Thanks

Make sure you have a clean, private head. (Toilet). Sail with minimum heel. Stop for a nice lunch. Everything gentle. Good luck!

I tried all the above with my wife. She just didn't want to be on a yacht. No ifs no buts, she just isn't interested in boats or sailing.
My younger sister on the other hand was the driving force in her and her ex army husband buying a Valiant 40 and living aboard.
My view is if your wife isn't keen after a first gentle sail on a calm day, give up. I find people are either keen or they have no interest, nothing in between.
Don't ruin your relationship, it isn't worth it.

Craig66 said..
Hey Serb
Go to the local sail club, put the word out that your looking for female crew to help you go out sailing.

Ill bet when your wife finds out your out enjoying your self with another woman she will change her mind and go sailing with you every time.

And if that doesn't work ditch your wife and marry the female crew

My trouble is the lovely wife "says" she likes sailing but in reality what she likes is what happens once you get to a nice spot , drop anchor and enjoy a nice lunch and a swim. Everything either side of this is endured through clenched teeth and much anxiety. I have tried all the suggested solutions mentioned above (like sailing with barely enough sail to give steerage through a tack to keep the heel to a minimum) but nothing seems to calm the anxiety. What's worse my son is now picking up on that and is heading down the anxious sailor path.

I tend to agree with Gary. Some people are sailors and get it and enjoy it. Others are not.

The trick Serb1980 is to negotiate things such that your wife's reluctance to sail does not prevent you from still being able to enjoy it.

I wish you luck

MattM14 said..
My trouble is the lovely wife "says" she likes sailing but in reality what she likes is what happens once you get to a nice spot , drop anchor and enjoy a nice lunch and a swim. Everything either side of this is endured through clenched teeth and much anxiety. I have tried all the suggested solutions mentioned above (like sailing with barely enough sail to give steerage through a tack to keep the heel to a minimum) but nothing seems to calm the anxiety. What's worse my son is now picking up on that and is heading down the anxious sailor path.

I tend to agree with Gary. Some people are sailors and get it and enjoy it. Others are not.

The trick Serb1980 is to negotiate things such that your wife's reluctance to sail does not prevent you from still being able to enjoy it.

I wish you luck

Valium is good for anxiety, but it makes for a doey crew

Watermark said..
Ok, I am going to out myself here. Watermark was owned by my husband and I. Sometimes he would answer othertimes it was me. He died 18 months ago. I can give a female perspective on this one. I learnt to sail when I was a teenager and loved it straight away but I have seen so many women put off sailing by their husbands. Take her out on a gentle day, explain to her how the boat works and what to expect when the boat heels over. A lot of women get scared because they dont understand the righting action on a yacht and their husbands take them out on a windy day. Pack a nice lunch, some nice wine and enjoy one anothers company. Have a gentle sail home, preferably with the wind behind and let her sail the boat. Explain what you are doing and what will happen and if she stuffs it up, dont yell and dont panic. Hopefully, she will have a good time and will want to go out again. Let her build up confidence in you, the boat and herself.

+1

These are wise words and offer a good, perhaps the best, chance of success. My own experience follows Watermark's advice. Many of us learnt to sail when we were young and invincible. People without this background can't be expected to feel safe and love it the way we do from the start. Some never will and that is OK, it's just the way it is.

And remember, it is all a dance. If your partner goes sailing with you, to try and share your passion, go do something they love to share their passion.

K.

I bought my boat in Brisbane and spent 6 months sailing it back to Perth with my wife who had very minimal experience and 2 boys 7 and 10 at the time with no boating experience. My wife was going to Brisbane anyway to visit her sister, so I sent her up to Newport to look at the boat first. It didn't matter how many of my 'boxes' the yacht ticked, if she didn't like it cosmetically it wasn't going to happen.

My first lesson on the way home would make any baked on traditionalist cringe. There are NO sheets, halyards, painters, winches, jammers, bow, sterns, galleys, heads and so on on a boat... They are white ropes with blue flecks, white rope with red flecks, round silver thing over there, front of the boat, back of the boat, you get the idea. Once I came to that realisation everyone started enjoying themselves more... The family was learning and I wasn't frustrated with them not understanding.

Watermark is on the mark... Pick the right day. Its not about showing off your new found skill just yet. Show off your new found love instead... Sell the dream. A nice lunch and a bottle of wine (her favourite, not yours). I got the sale of a boat over the line by doing this last year. I knew the (reluctant) partner was coming along for the sea trial, so I put a bunch of flowers on the table, bought along a platter and a bottle of bubbles of which she got served just before slipping the pen. Boat sold before we got back

5 years on, my youngest boy will have a tantrum if I go sailing without him. At the age now of 12, he confidently helms a 47' yacht onto a mooring and with my guidance into a marina pen. My wife and eldest boy simply enjoy the outdoors on the water, the social aspect of sailing, the sundowners and a wine or 2 - or more. They enjoy every thing about the boat bar the actual sailing -oh and the maintenance.

Bottom line.. Don't force your love of your boat onto her. Don't expect her to become a reliable crew member. Make sailing enjoyable for what she sees it as and your wife will enjoy it more.

Craig66 said..
Hey Serb
Go to the local sail club, put the word out that your looking for female crew to help you go out sailing.

Ill bet when your wife finds out your out enjoying your self with another woman she will change her mind and go sailing with you every time.

Not too bad idea, a bit risky indeed!

My wife falls asleep in the cockpit, so I make sure to have nice comfy cushions, and lots of snacks for when she wakes up. The only part she doesn't like is that she has to wake up and change sides every time I tack. So after a while I just let her sleep in the leeward side.

She will like it more if it's floating right side up.

Just how hard is it .....