Ever noticed in SUP surfing that the size of your board is apparently inversely related to how awesome you are? ie. the shorter your board the more awesome you must be? So much so that complete strangers will feel compelled to ask you what length of board you surf to compare, like some mental game of trump cards, their ability to yours. To highlight my point, I was surfing the other day on my not too long not short board when another SUPer paddled out and without seeing me ride a wave (hadn’t caught one yet) said “ Hi, nice day. What size is your board?”

Yes, he could have just been making small talk but we all know he wasn’t.
I believe people (No, not all but a lot) ask what size your board is to see where they sit on the pecking order, if their board is smaller than yours then a) they must be better than you or b) you only ride better than them because you are on an easier (beginners) board. Now I know I’ll probably get a lot of haters (which I’m actually looking forward to) saying you are wrong they are just being friendly or you are just touchy about the size of you board. I’m not, I have just noticed this humorous new surfer syndrome, let’s call Howbigisyours-itis, and thought it may make an interesting topic. Patients with advanced cases of this syndrome are compelled despite having a perfectly good board to continually upgrade their board to something smaller or thinner or custom made etc.

To test if you have it I will now tell you my height, weight and length of board. If you have Howbigisyours-itis you will automatically, without ever having seen me surf, make a judgement on my ability and compare it to your own board/ability. Alright now get ready, be honest with yourself, awareness is the first step to recovery.




I am 5’10”,


I weigh 81kgs


and I ride a 10’ 6 Naish.

My wife rides a 10'6 Naish

I ride a 12'6 race board in the surf mostly , i must really suck.

BlueberryBil said...
another SUPer paddled out and without seeing me ride a wave (hadn't caught one yet) said "Hi, nice day. What size is your board?"

.... He must have been disappointed that you didn't react to his subtle pickup line :-)

HaHa - I've had this conversation so many times now - thanks for posting.

It's the 1990's shortboard mentality when you had to ride a sub 6'8 banana shape that unless you were a shredder or under 70kg you had no hope of getting waves on more recently a keel fish wasn't real unless it was under 5'10 and when people saw my 6'5 they'd be like 'that's not a fish'.

I ride my 12 & 14' Laird's in waves and it's assumed I must be learning although there's been more than a few times when the smaller boards have struggled and the big Laird's get them all and they wish to god they had one.

I do remember a post on here earlier this year where someone went sub 10 foot then jumped back on a 12' and they realised that by going short they'd lost the fun factor.....can't remember who it was - CMC or Lacey's Lane maybe ?

I just hope we don't slide down the surfboard theory of shorter is better too much. We dared to be different by riding a SUP - keep it real.

dont do this you guys you will just upset the boys in the next room on the easy small boards...

in life you just need friends , family , booze of some description and a REALLY BIG SURF BOARD !!

Reminds me of the guy who scoffed at my 10' x 34" whopper and then got no waves cos it was a bit choppy and the waves were a bit fat. Oh, and we had to rescue him when he got caught inside and his leggy wrapped around a rock.

I could retire if I had a dollar for every GUY....(girls dont seem to care)that paddled past and said "how big is that one?" 90% of the time it isnt even preceeded with hello....I usually just look at my crotch and say big enough.

Get a DC board and they won't ask

Maybe a hint of Paranoia?

its the width that makes the difference so ive been told

11 foot 6in short x 32 " wide x 4 3/4 " thick . 100 kg

but i,m really really really good ok .

Ericson said...

Reminds me of the guy who scoffed at my 10' x 34" whopper and then got no waves cos it was a bit choppy and the waves were a bit fat. Oh, and we had to rescue him when he got caught inside and his leggy wrapped around a rock.

Now thats funny

Im 70kgs and ride a 9'8

Notice that everybody with a really short SUP is always letting you know how short his board really is?
Just sayin'.

Ever noticed that €â when you copy and †paste from microsoft ’ word into a forum all œ these weird characters come ’ out?

adolf said...

Ever noticed that €â when you copy and †paste from microsoft ’ word into a forum all œ these weird characters come ’ out?

Why would anyone be cutting and pasting from microsoft? Is it because there is no spell check on hear hahahahaha