Just message DJ for the Low Down on SUP Melbourne !
Various flatwater and Down Wind options around the bay.
Surf is available on tap outside of Melbourne, especially through the cooler months....

Sharks are not a problem.... No serious hot spots... luke warm spots around the two bigger seal colonies at Nobby's Phillip Island, and Cape Bridgewater near Bridgewater, near Portland. Whale, seal and dolphin sightings outweigh men in grey suits by roughly 100+ to 1.
--------------
Beers Up!,
I've been around a bit, including well over a decade in NSW, but I can't believe I've NEVER heard of GayFL before !
I'll do you a deal, let's not start the debate....

But AFL is a 3D game, using hand and foot, and going forwards and back... Fast game... (but you like what you grow up with!)... But I strongly believe that a years worth of AFL highlights compressed into 5 minutes is more visually spectacular than Rugby League, Union, or The World Game.