NSW
3487 posts
But I don't even know Prince !!!!!!
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sorry, I was just testing a joke?
VIC
8025 posts
Jokes!
THIS IS A BLOODY FRIGHTENING STATISTIC.
PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST WORRYING IN THE LAST 10 YRS!
25% of women in this country are on medication for mental illness...
That means 75% are running around with no medication at all!
VIC
8025 posts
Canadian "Lay off" letter!
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Layoff Letter No wonder this guy is the boss. He is sharp! You can't be
any fairer than this leader. Dear Employees: As the CEO of this
organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Darrell Dexter is
our Nova Scotia Premier and that our taxes and government fees will
increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices
would have to increase by about 10%. But, since we cannot increase our
prices right now, due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to
lay off 60 of our employees, instead. This really has been bothering me,
since I believe that we are family, here, and I didn't know how to choose
who would have to go. So, this is what I did. I walked through our
parking lot and found 60 'NDP bumper stickers' on our employees cars …
and have decided that these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't
think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change,
so I gave it to them. I'll see the rest of you at the annual company picnic!!!
VIC
8025 posts
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the Prime Ministers Residence, in Ottawa.
One is from Calgary , another is from Halifax , and the third is from First Nations . All three go with a Sussex drive official to examine the fence.
The Calgary contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.
"Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. That's $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Halifax contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700. That's $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The First Nations contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the Sussex Drive official and whispers, "$2,700."
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The First Nations contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Halifax to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the government official.
And that, my friends, is how a Government Stimulus plan works.
VIC
8025 posts
Irish Mirror
(I hope this brightens up your day)
After living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old
Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin.
In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks into it.
Not ever having seen a mirror before, he remarked at the image
staring back at him.
'How 'bout that! he exclaims, 'Here's a picture of my Fadder.'
He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his dad, but on the
way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father, so he hung it in
the shed, and every morning before leaving to go fishing, he would go
there and look at it.
His wife began to get suspicious of his many trips to the shed.
So, one day after her husband left, she went to the shed and found the
mirror.
As she looked into the glass, she fumed, 'So that's the ugly bitch
he's hanging around with.'
NSW
3487 posts
What should you do if a Rottweiler starts humping your leg???
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Fake and orgasm.
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What would look good on your Mother in Law???
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A Rotteiler
VIC
8025 posts
No, 3 of us let her sleep in, and 1 of us just gives her the bone anyway!
