As I'm only in the office for special guest appearances and I generally have a filing system based on the Chaos theory, My area tends to get a lot of everyone elses crap dumped in it.
So today with a rope attached to my waist tied of to a nearby filing cabinet I went exploring looking for my desk.
5 hours later and 2 well stacked shopping trollies worth of wheelie bin filing, I have discovered that I have a woodgrain desk and that the carpet is Dark grey.
I must thank everybody who came up and offered encouragement, those who took photos and most importantly Sue, Adam and Andrew who using the rope were able to extract me from the quagmire so as I could have some lunch.
So there you go, my day in a nutshell, not quite a joke but it gave everyone at work a laugh
A guy walks into a pub and see's his mate slouched over the bar looking miserable. He asks him what the problem is, and his friend replies 'You know that girl that i like?'. He says back 'is that the one that whenever you see her you get an erection?'. Reluctantly the man says yes. He goes on to say 'Well, i finally worked up the courage to ask her on a date'. 'Good on you!' says his mate chuckling. 'I thought ahead though, before i went around i taped my weaner to my leg'. 'good thinking mate, how did it go?' he says. 'Well, she opened the door and i kicked her in the face'. hahahahahhaha
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid R23.00 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
