Windwarrior asked for my waist measurements to fit me out for boardshorts:
So I'm searching everywhere for a tape measure and finally find one, running to my wife to measure me up! She grabs the tape measure puts her arms around my back and brings the tape round to the front. Then she starts laughing hysterically..... I say (bit sheepishly)how big am I? and she falls to the floor tape measure in hand laughing, struggling for breath......... "What the f#ck r u on about woman?" I ask a bit shamed...... She gets up puts the tape around me again and says look..... I look down and the ****** thing didn't reach around me gut
...... It was only a metre long....
My wife crying with laughter says "I can't measure you up it won't reach around ya gut!!...
" Not exactly the sort of treatment you would expect a top clothing model to receive
And NO I'M NOT TELLING HOW BIG I AM!!
You eat one little double quarter pounder with cheese for breakfast every morning.......... and wash her down with one little chocolate thickshake...........and then have a tiny little family size pizza for lunch everyday.........and a miserly 3 course meal everynite, (bloody wife has to be such a good cook)
.......... and ya bloody put on weight... who got this stuff so wrong
