pierrec45 said...

some other guy said...

where a woman fought it out so hard, she ended up owing her lawyer money out of her own pocket.

Yep, I have seen a couple of those too, including one where a fairly well-off couple coming out of the ordeal rather destitute... I wonder where the money all went...

My cousin's messy divorce happened just like that. She ended up with less than she started with. All he had to do was stone wall and stone wall some more, forcing her to keep paying her expensive lawyer.

The guy is usually 6 months behind in realising that the relationship has ended. Not only is she better prepared emotionally to get through the actual dividing up of property, but you can bet she has prepared for it already by seeking advice from a never ending stream of sisterhood organisations. There are no tricks in hiding assets. If you try one, the court will unravel it and reverse any contracts you draw upto hide them. She will take between 50 and 60% of property, preferring to hold onto property such as the house which appreciates in value, while letting you keep the assets that are depreciating. Dont get emotional about boats and their values at this time. And if you force her to live somewhere else, while you slowly sort out property, she can charge you occupational rent for that period. The system is designed to give an advantage to the caregiver of children, and presumes that as you have a well developed career, that you are best placed to cop a financial hammering. She will get to keep everything that matters, including the kids and your social network. Basically, youre stuffed.
Somehow this is in the public interest. And it doesnt matter if you have only a defacto relationship, and you brought the house to the relationship, and she promised she would never take it yada yada yada. She will be persuaded to get everything shes entitled to, and you will be lucky if she lets you see the kids on her terms.
And then when she starts the next relationship, she will try and have the kids see her new partner as the kids father. Its natural, and its obscene. And after shes done it a couple of times, she will own a house freehold. They can make a living out of what they sit on, one way or another. All it takes is for them to be street smart and network, which they do really well.

Spiderguy said...

And if you reminisce about the good times you had with her, and how you used to like to walk up behind her while she had her hands in the sink, and give her a hug and smell her hair, its because PHEREMONES is ruling your life, and you dont realise it. And if you think you can jump back into another relationship 6 months after ending one like that, you are wrong. It will take you at least 3 years to stop thinking about her every day. It will take you 10 years to be able to function normally, without thinking about her at all.

Good luck. It hurts.

compared to around two weeks for a woman.

I agreed a division of property, where she got 60% (I got to keep my tools, 4wd and boat and she got to keep the house and furnishings- BIG MISTAKE)....
I thought I had done it nicely, and that access would be guaranteed because I had: WRONG. She blocked it totally by arranging competing sporting events that fell on my access times. She would stand on the driveway crying "dont worry about me kids, go with your father if you have to... I will be alright, I think (sob) (sob)"....

So then I go and live in a shed on a country block, and I accept a separation package from my work. (I set up a child support bank account, and put it in there, with plans to pay it to her at the same rate as when I was employed). A do gooder female in the personnel section of my work, rang my wife to inform her that I was taking a package. Within hours, my ex had an application before the court, locking up the lump sum, as GET THIS: LUMP SUM CHILD SUPPORT IN ADVANCE (even though she wasnt letting me see them)

Then she takes photographs of the shed, and reports me to the local council for living in a shed... unbelievable.

Spiderguy said...

I agreed a division of property, where she got 60% (I got to keep my tools, 4wd and boat and she got to keep the house and furnishings- BIG MISTAKE)....
I thought I had done it nicely, and that access would be guaranteed because I had: WRONG. She blocked it totally by arranging competing sporting events that fell on my access times. She would stand on the driveway crying "dont worry about me kids, go with your father if you have to... I will be alright, I think (sob) (sob)"....

So then I go and live in a shed on a country block, and I accept a separation package from my work. (I set up a child support bank account, and put it in there, with plans to pay it to her at the same rate as when I was employed). A do gooder female in the personnel section of my work, rang my wife to inform her that I was taking a package. Within hours, my ex had an application before the court, locking up the lump sum, as GET THIS: LUMP SUM CHILD SUPPORT IN ADVANCE (even though she wasnt letting me see them)

Then she takes photographs of the shed, and reports me to the local council for living in a shed... unbelievable.

I don't want to believe that woman informed your Ex.

The system is set up to take money from the workers (us) and give it to the spenders (taxman/ex's/welfare single mums)

^^^^You are a dead set hero Skid. Seriously.

my 2 cents:

he should put the properties and acreage under trust.

this will remove his direct ownership of the assets and protect the capital value.

The rents can be paid to the trust into a NON ACCESSABLE account and left to accumulate.

at a later date when spouse is out the picture the trust can be wound up and assets and accumulated funds be transfered to the beneficiary.

IF, the other parties solicitor finds a way to include these (non owned) assets in the settlement, the payout figure thats payable to the spouse should be agreed and a figure frozen at that date and an agreed dollar amount.

this means that the assets will continue to be held in trust and appreciate in value and the fixed payout figure to the spouse will diminish over time.

ie. agreed payout figure $300k to spouse, payable when trust wound up.
trust wound up in 10 years. capital value of trust assets increased by $400k and frozen payout figure has diminished by 3% every year from $300k to a real dollar value of approx $270k.

when trust wound up.
payout to spouse: $300k
trusts capital gain to beneficiary: 400k-300k=100k up

plus he gets to keep the acreage and properties.