Married a Kiwi

I tried to have a sensible forum discussion with log man.

Nice hot summer day in north Queensland pulled the car up to have a swim is a river some where was really nice in, but then I could see across on the other side
near the bank was a croc swimming towards me . I can walk on water

Alright working for myself is not the dumbest thing Ive ever done .But it does have its days .
Its pretty hard to come up with a number one after a lifetime of stupidity.
But here goes .
Cutting two of my fingers off in a tragic lawn mower wrestling accident.
They stuck them back on but I lost the middle knuckle from my index finger so its permantly straight .
So every time i close my hand I'm flipping the bird.
This also has to be a contender.
Having twins
One root two kids totally ripped off

Playing in the VFL 8 years ago. Drove to Warragul instead of Werribee. Didn't click till I got there.
Quick trip from Warragul to Werribee though. Coach wasn't overly impressed when I rocked up 15mins into the first quarter.
The boys found it pretty funny though and still remind me.

Just about stabbed my eye out drunkenly eating cheese and crackers.

Lesson learned is put the knife down before you try to stuff food into mouth. Especially if you are holding knife and cracker in same hand.

Got a nice cut on face less than 1cm from eye ball

in 89 my best mate and i were staying down at my cousins place in Budgewoi NSW we all went to this club somewhere and started getting smashed as you do/did.
latter that night my cousin said he has picked up the bus driver of a netball team,up from sydney on their breakup bender.
so we all jumped in the bus & headed back to their motel.
my cousins down the front chatting with the bus driver who was married my mate is seated middle of the bus tongue smashing this older but very sexy looking
MILF and I'm up the back.
don't know how it happened but this little blond said take your shirt off..so i did
she then said take your pants off …so i did
then this large girl said take you jocks off, when out of nowhere i said..fark off fatso.
the girls in the bus screamed he's a pig like the other two.
next thing i know I'm off the bus in my jocks in the middle of ****sville and its raining.
try telling the bloody indian servo bloke , pissed,wet, standing in your jocks to ring you a cab with no money.