1. Change the locks (stops her mum from gettin' to check on you) 2. Check Beer stocks at yer local Pubbie (You'll need heaps) 3. Check for surveillance cams ( then double check ) 4. Order boobies once 1,2 & 3 are ticked off. 5. Make sure there's enough wood for the WFOven(slobber,drool,slobber) 6. Check step 3 again. 7. Invite the Pup,doggie,mark etc etc etc etc more to follow.....
i'll byo and bring some tandoor chicken. Thats all i have to contribute sorry and i will proably eat and drink most of it to. On seconds thought dont invite me.
1. Change the locks (stops her mum from gettin' to check on you) 2. Check Beer stocks at yer local Pubbie (You'll need heaps) 3. Check for surveillance cams ( then double check ) 4. Order boobies once 1,2 & 3 are ticked off. 5. Make sure there's enough wood for the WFOven(slobber,drool,slobber) 6. Check step 3 again. 7. Invite the Pup,doggie,mark etc etc etc etc more to follow.....
... now where was I (I actually had to go outside & do some labour - sheesh what's the man's working world coming to these days!!!!!)
7. Check those re-fitted locks again. 8. Pay off ya prospective father-in-law with one of those pre-organised cartons. (to pre-occupy her mother with other sh!ite for the period) 9. Be AWFUL sweet to either side neighbours (and if one or both are cutie-pies - remember to invite them as a matter of absolute priority!!!!) 10. Lock up the cat as it's life is in mortal danger. 11. check 1-3 again (or the whole shemozzle is in mortal danger let alone yourself) 12. Do NOT invite her chat-buddies (unless they're jennifer "spadge" hawkins)
Oh babaaaaaaaa - YOU would definitely get my invite with that little morsel of nosh!
**** Sub-Paragraph section **** i) Consider composing the "pre-spanking upon the GF's arrival back" grovel speech. (in case it all falls to sh!te or you jump her drop dead gorgeous bestie/sister) ia) Also consider another damages insurance policy - say you're considering marriage (she'll do the woman thing and forgive all your mortal sins for at least a week maybe two if the ring you are considering placing on her finger is big enough OR until she hits the skirt & shoe shops on her hollys!) iii) Do not invite the "mate" who usually thinks he can navigate yer Boat or Jetski thru yer backyard after he's had a half-shandy. iv) Buy 10 litres of Hydrochloric Acid for your WC - it'll never be the same after that shindig if you don't (refer to S-Para (i) ) v) Keep $120 spare - you'll need it for going to your GP in days afterwards (1 maybe 2 weeks of valuable sickleave certificates. vi) Don't buy onions for the party - the greenhouse emissions will incur you several thounds $ of carbon tax fines!
15. mechanical bull, pool/ping pong/air hockey tables. 16. 12 man/lady spa 17. doof room with smoke machine and strobe lights 18. live band out the back 19. alcohol strategically positioned everywhere around the house so no one has to take more than 5 steps to get a drink
