WORST CHRISTMAS PRESENTS EVER

> 10 years ago
Reply
Register to post, see what you've read, and subscribe to topics.
Mobydisc
Mobydisc
NSW
9029 posts
NSW, 9029 posts
22 Dec 2010 6:52pm
Possibly getting a Dr Suess book when I was around 10 years old. By that time I was reading books like The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. It was from an uncle and his wife who were school teachers. I didn't really understand why they sent me a Suess book. Perhaps they didn't know I was reading children novels.

The other thing that is crap is basically all the stuff like cheese platters and things like that. Our kitchen cupboards are full of that sort of stuff in unopened boxes. If I want to eat cheese I'm happy to use a normal plate and knife.

Best Christmas presents are those I buy for myself. I'm getting a Go Pro HD this year!


hills
hills
SA
1622 posts
SA, 1622 posts
22 Dec 2010 6:30pm
landyacht said...


i like to remind wifey of this sad tale every year before christmas, just so she will think first before buying anything


Haha, well I guess as Susan has an account on here you can consider that done!

landyacht
landyacht
WA
5921 posts
WA, 5921 posts
22 Dec 2010 6:40pm
theoretically she is too busy getting the bookwork done before xmas
thats the excuse shes using for not cooking any meals for the last week[}:)]
greenleader
greenleader
QLD
5283 posts
QLD, 5283 posts
23 Dec 2010 12:19am
RAIN
colinwill78
colinwill78
VIC
1395 posts
VIC, 1395 posts
23 Dec 2010 5:27pm
I got a DVD of all the old super8 films of me and the bro's when we were growing up 30-35 years ago great to see the genuine old films, very nostalgic and retro stuff BUT!!! it had a subliminal glimpse of mum's nipple and i nearly lost my lunch thinking about how that got there.
It put me off boobs for nearly 45 minutes.
doggie
doggie
WA
15849 posts
WA, 15849 posts
23 Dec 2010 2:34pm
colinwill78 said...

I got a DVD of all the old super8 films of me and the bro's when we were growing up 30-35 years ago great to see the genuine old films, very nostalgic and retro stuff BUT!!! it had a subliminal glimpse of mum's nipple and i nearly lost my lunch thinking about how that got there.
It put me off boobs for nearly 45 minutes.


45 minutes is a long time mate (.)(.)
colinwill78
colinwill78
VIC
1395 posts
VIC, 1395 posts
23 Dec 2010 6:25pm
lucky it was only "nearly" 45 minutes, at exactly 43:45 post maternal, a busty young customer walked in and i was cured.
.......bugger it......Good on ya dad!!
NotWal
NotWal
QLD
7436 posts
QLD, 7436 posts
23 Dec 2010 6:55pm
Looxury. When I was lad, we didn't have Christmas. We had Annual Kick in the Jewels day. Everybody were warned but me. AKJ day always came upon me as a complete surprise. What a surprise it was. Such jollity and laughter. It was a fine thing to be the source of such amusement and merriment. But one tires of excruciating pain after a fairly short while. As I grew older and smarter I took to avoiding it altogether.
Bah humbug.
poor relative
poor relative
WA
9106 posts
WA, 9106 posts
23 Dec 2010 5:08pm
NotWal said...

Looxury. When I was lad, we didn't have Christmas. We had Annual Kick in the Jewels day. Everybody were warned but me. AKJ day always came upon me as a complete surprise. What a surprise it was. Such jollity and laughter. It was a fine thing to be the source of such amusement and merriment. But one tires of excruciating pain after a fairly short while. As I grew older and smarter I took to avoiding it altogether.
Bah humbug.


I used to dream of getting kicked in the balls at christmas. Think yourself fkn lucky
Mobydisc
Mobydisc
NSW
9029 posts
NSW, 9029 posts
23 Dec 2010 8:13pm
poor relative said...

NotWal said...

Looxury. When I was lad, we didn't have Christmas. We had Annual Kick in the Jewels day. Everybody were warned but me. AKJ day always came upon me as a complete surprise. What a surprise it was. Such jollity and laughter. It was a fine thing to be the source of such amusement and merriment. But one tires of excruciating pain after a fairly short while. As I grew older and smarter I took to avoiding it altogether.
Bah humbug.


I used to dream of getting kicked in the balls at christmas. Think yourself fkn lucky


You were allowed to dream? You clearly were born with a silver spoon in your mouth.

If I dreamed of anything I'd be beaten to a pulp with a club made of rusty barbed wire.

Ben 555
Ben 555
NSW
456 posts
NSW, 456 posts
23 Dec 2010 8:33pm
Mobydisc said...

poor relative said...

NotWal said...

Looxury. When I was lad, we didn't have Christmas. We had Annual Kick in the Jewels day. Everybody were warned but me. AKJ day always came upon me as a complete surprise. What a surprise it was. Such jollity and laughter. It was a fine thing to be the source of such amusement and merriment. But one tires of excruciating pain after a fairly short while. As I grew older and smarter I took to avoiding it altogether.
Bah humbug.


I used to dream of getting kicked in the balls at christmas. Think yourself fkn lucky


You were allowed to dream? You clearly were born with a silver spoon in your mouth.

If I dreamed of anything I'd be beaten to a pulp with a club made of rusty barbed wire.




You were lucky.....our dad would remove our brains so we couldnt even think let alone dream.....and you try tell that to the kids of today


Just had nanna around dishing out pressies to my children which should spawn a new thread "Worst piece of plastic polluting rubbish that has been fashioned to resemble a childrens toy"
poor relative
poor relative
WA
9106 posts
WA, 9106 posts
23 Dec 2010 5:36pm
Ben 555 said...

Mobydisc said...

poor relative said...

NotWal said...

Looxury. When I was lad, we didn't have Christmas. We had Annual Kick in the Jewels day. Everybody were warned but me. AKJ day always came upon me as a complete surprise. What a surprise it was. Such jollity and laughter. It was a fine thing to be the source of such amusement and merriment. But one tires of excruciating pain after a fairly short while. As I grew older and smarter I took to avoiding it altogether.
Bah humbug.


I used to dream of getting kicked in the balls at christmas. Think yourself fkn lucky


You were allowed to dream? You clearly were born with a silver spoon in your mouth.

If I dreamed of anything I'd be beaten to a pulp with a club made of rusty barbed wire.




You were lucky.....our dad would remove our brains so we couldnt even think let alone dream.....and you try tell that to the kids of today


Just had nanna around dishing out pressies to my children which should spawn a new thread "Worst piece of plastic polluting rubbish that has been fashioned to resemble a childrens toy"


You had brains.
Our family was so hungry we had to eat ours raw.
Mobydisc
Mobydisc
NSW
9029 posts
NSW, 9029 posts
23 Dec 2010 9:01pm
poor relative said...

Ben 555 said...

Mobydisc said...

poor relative said...

NotWal said...

Looxury. When I was lad, we didn't have Christmas. We had Annual Kick in the Jewels day. Everybody were warned but me. AKJ day always came upon me as a complete surprise. What a surprise it was. Such jollity and laughter. It was a fine thing to be the source of such amusement and merriment. But one tires of excruciating pain after a fairly short while. As I grew older and smarter I took to avoiding it altogether.
Bah humbug.


I used to dream of getting kicked in the balls at christmas. Think yourself fkn lucky


You were allowed to dream? You clearly were born with a silver spoon in your mouth.

If I dreamed of anything I'd be beaten to a pulp with a club made of rusty barbed wire.




You were lucky.....our dad would remove our brains so we couldnt even think let alone dream.....and you try tell that to the kids of today


Just had nanna around dishing out pressies to my children which should spawn a new thread "Worst piece of plastic polluting rubbish that has been fashioned to resemble a childrens toy"


You had brains.
Our family was so hungry we had to eat ours raw.



A family eating? Luxury.

The first morsel of food our family ever had came our way after we all died from starvation.

But we were happy.

poor relative
poor relative
WA
9106 posts
WA, 9106 posts
23 Dec 2010 6:29pm
Family? we had to sell ours in order to buy dust.
kyteryder
kyteryder
NSW
692 posts
NSW, 692 posts
23 Dec 2010 11:35pm
One year my brother was being a prick. So I bought him a NSW tide chart. $3 it cost me and I don't think he ever used it. It had knots in it as well. Pretty cool hey.

kR.
kitegirl21
kitegirl21
NSW
439 posts
NSW, 439 posts
28 Dec 2010 8:43pm
when i was about 8 or 10 my dad was visiting (mum/dad divorced, dad is a weirdo, off the planet, have no contact now etc etc) he gave me a colouring book that was already half coloured in ( he is not broke, has well paying job) and jusified it by saying "your step brother has given you a head start!"... hahaha... true story
lotofwind
lotofwind
NSW
6451 posts
NSW, 6451 posts
28 Dec 2010 10:01pm
One of my relatives( we both hate each other[}:)]) bought me windsurfing lessons.
I put them on ebay for half the price they were worth, but no-one wanted them.
I even put them in the retro section of ebay,but still no luck.
So I regifted them to kyle Sanderlands,,,,he deserves them
kitegirl21
kitegirl21
NSW
439 posts
NSW, 439 posts
28 Dec 2010 10:31pm
lotofwind said...

One of my relatives( we both hate each other[}:)]) bought me windsurfing lessons.
I put them on ebay for half the price they were worth, but no-one wanted them.
I even put them in the retro section of ebay,but still no luck.
So I regifted them to kyle Sanderlands,,,,he deserves them


Just p1ssed myself laughing, thought u shud know that.. Gold
kitegirl21
kitegirl21
NSW
439 posts
NSW, 439 posts
28 Dec 2010 10:35pm
kitegirl21 said...

when i was about 8 or 10 my dad was visiting (mum/dad divorced, dad is a weirdo, off the planet, have no contact now etc etc) he gave me a colouring book that was already half coloured in ( he is not broke, has well paying job) and jusified it by saying "your step brother has given you a head start!"... hahaha... true story


Oh and another time, when I was around the same age, I unwrapped (yes it was all wrapped up quite nicely) a facewasher that I had used as a baby, from the same person!!! WTF, who wraps up previously used items from the past and gives them as presents... Another true story
lotofwind
lotofwind
NSW
6451 posts
NSW, 6451 posts
28 Dec 2010 10:52pm
gotta love ya family......dont you?.......I think.........no choice I guess
getfunky
getfunky
WA
4485 posts
WA, 4485 posts
29 Dec 2010 8:39am
kitegirl21 said...

kitegirl21 said...

when i was about 8 or 10 my dad was visiting (mum/dad divorced, dad is a weirdo, off the planet, have no contact now etc etc) he gave me a colouring book that was already half coloured in ( he is not broke, has well paying job) and jusified it by saying "your step brother has given you a head start!"... hahaha... true story


Oh and another time, when I was around the same age, I unwrapped (yes it was all wrapped up quite nicely) a facewasher that I had used as a baby, from the same person!!! WTF, who wraps up previously used items from the past and gives them as presents... Another true story


At least he contributed to your hawt looks

Aww that's just plain creepy EDIT




And whilst we are quoting ourselves..


getfunky cr@pped on about:
My ol' man works for an auto part company.

Every year without fail I get something that has been returned (after being opened - and ens up in my hands. Most of which is never used as i am a bit of a gumby with tools especially those missing the crucial part.

Dad also forgets (or chooses not to remember) he gave me the same prezzie the year before.

Last count I had 4 diff socket sets. Ha ha - I end up using the cheapy set twice a year as it is the most compact and easiest to carry.

I draw the line at free promo cr@p that has been palmed off on me and the squids before (rubbish monaro clock that didn't even function).

Serves me right for all those socks n jocks I gave him for father's day I spose.



Holy friken moly!!

1st time ever I didn't get some returned or overstocked cr@p from Dad's auto parts shop. I had no idea he even read seabreeze?
kitegirl21
kitegirl21
NSW
439 posts
NSW, 439 posts
29 Dec 2010 9:16pm
Lol funky, it's heaps legit and also core to quote urself
Hamsta
Hamsta
505 posts
505 posts
31 Dec 2010 6:32pm
Not the worst, but definately the weirdest. Brother gave me a set of what looks like IKEA's idea of snow crampons (without the toe spikes) that are put together then strapped to boots. The idea is then to walk/dance around on the lawn and promote growth and improve water absorbsion. These honestly look like some Ninja weapon and would be great look for a Norwegian Black Metal concert.

Called the "Lawn Breathers" I pissed myself laughing even more than the year he gave me the "Microwave Vegetable Steamer Set". I gave him the USB Toaster box and some stupid fridge magnets from the Onion Store. Christmas is whack. Everyone else received a voucher as I don't have a f*&King clue when it comes to gift buying
Promo girl
Promo girl
259 posts
259 posts
31 Dec 2010 10:15pm
hills said...

landyacht said...


i like to remind wifey of this sad tale every year before christmas, just so she will think first before buying anything


Haha, well I guess as Susan has an account on here you can consider that done!




landyacht said "theoretically she is too busy getting the bookwork done before xmas
thats the excuse shes using for not cooking any meals for the last week"


Yep been too busy, have not been on for ages...and look at the mischief his lordship gets up to?
Notice he does not mention all the dud pressies he has purchased for Chrissie or birthdays over the years? thats when he rembers the date!

Actually over the years after receiving many land yacht parts (cushion, sail, ratchet block) I have been quite specific this year in my requests. A new *decent* camping chair (for sitting on the edge of the Lake and not a plastic milk crate!) and some hand cream (brand name included and where to buy).

I was also pretty specific that the broken washing basket trolley that I took to the shed in Feb to get fixed - one child too many had ridden around the back garden - was a repair job and not to be re-badged as a Christmas pressie, and could he please get on with the repair after all its only been 10 months.

Christmas eve a suspicious laundry trolley shaped parcel appears under the tree. I leave the book work to stomp down to the shed to let Paul know that I was NOT amused.

Next morning open suspicious looking package to find it is a new trolley (well newish - found at tip trolley but in better condition that old tip one!) and has been painted rainbow colours by 8 year old daughter with "best mum in the world" across the handle in wobbly letters.

Guess what was this years best pressie? Paul loves it as I eat humble pie every time I hang out the washing
Please Register, or first...
Topics Subscribe Reply